"He should look the same but flesh toned and with a little baby dick."
"Full of green pea-ness."
"You just wanna go home and look at a penis."
"Making jokes about fuzzy taints is kinda easy."
"To get in and get the semen is easy..."
"Let's be virgins forever!"
"I got it in up to the knee..."
"Natalie, you betrayed us!"
"There are many butt plugs, but this one is mine."
"What's going on with that dick?"
"So he didn't 'pedo' himself until later?"
"To suck or be sucked?"
"We had to make the perfect dick."
"No one's trying to read your penis."
"That's how you get thrush."
"I have pubes to grow."
"I was farting what smelled like diapers."
"Look at 'em jiggle."
"I know Kung Fu."
"That's a lot of piss."
"You have the turtle genocide every year, right?"
You guys know there are petitions for things that matter too, right?
"Where's all the dragon shit?!"
"Can I say 'Who cares?' more to this?"
Topic in the streets, banter in the sheets.
"Do you feel like you just took a giant dump?"
"You have to, like, kinda have your cheeks spread."
"I wanna find the breastfeeding."
"Do catheters work for semen?"
"You run whatever sort of train you want on me."
"Look at all the fucking flops!"
"Hey mom, is it okay if I sleep with your sister?"
"He's doing the beaver thing again."
"You basically just put your head between your legs and look between."
"Your thoughts are important and they should be sent to your mother."
"I wanna slam my magnum condom on the table..."
"I see the crotch of a polygon man."
"It's one planet having sex with another planet."
"Once you thrust, your butt moves."
"Humanity is a cesspool."
"He's gone viral through his dick antics."
"China loves underwater shit!"
"He's a rapist... with roommates!"
"I drive to local schools and ask kids what's cool."
"You sound like someone's dad at the mall."
"Large-chested anime girls are more aerodynamic."
"Some days I do wish I had a foreskin."
"I think his penis got sick."
"Open up you a**hole, drug mule!"
"I pissed myself playing Gameboy."
"I just imagined boobs on everything."
“If you got enough lube, you can pull it off.”
"Does the girl use the litter box?"
"You can do whatever you want to this monkey."
Be gentle with us, Warner Bros.
Lawrence found 400 images to help figure it out.
That fisting joke you're thinking of is too easy.
"Speaking of eating ass..."
"It's just a little semen."
"Sorry, incest lovers."
"My Gramma has a bangin' social life."
Just the one?
"Pleasure the robots!"
There goes my shot at directing the Beta Ray Bill standalone movie.
"Corpses love us."
What'd you do for Fourth of July?
But are there girls in it?
"Maybe she knows her place..."
"Everyone knows you drink piss-wine room temperature."
"Elyse likes it over quick."
"You're my transforming horse."
Long live (K)lance!
Yup. For about three years now.
Needs more man nipples.
Glad those two scrappy underdogs could work something out.
"Being a sixteen year old boy is hard."
I hate the future.
We have lawyers too.
More glowing balls on things!
Cult leaders are gonna be pissed!
Don't they know how easy game development is?
Like... almost everybody?
Danger: hot topic (not the store) coming at you!
"It's like Skyrim, with another Skyrim inside of it."
The new trend is a bit transparent these days for hit games.
If all games just had a customizable character, this wouldn't be a problem.
Sound off if you're a sock type of person.
There are no refunds in the Wild West, baby.
Place your bets, who's gonna get hurt first?
Happy birthday Benson!~
"Jesus hates puberty?"
"Don't hurt my billionaire tears... idiots."
Don't panic... yet.
Welcome to the safe space.
Pray for Adam's tummy.
So what? Maybe you should all just.... let it go?
Soon to be available in the "steerage level" of the new internet.
Star Wars games peaked with the wire-frame arcade cabinet anyway
C'mon. We all know porgs are going to do that.
"They ask me why I'm always cleaning my gutters..."
"Listen. There's a lot of people who fart on YouTube."
You can't clog a bucket.
It's just a little packet of sauce, guys.
I'm saving my money for the mini TurboGrafx-16.
Can you get my back?
"It's like nostalgia vs drug addiction."
"... we can show penis on statues."
Glad somebody stepped up.
Everybody clean out your desks.
"Why are you still explaining the plot of a porno film?"
"... and that's why we have strippers."
"Oh, I don't buy my own wine anymore."
Our army of slick high-priced lawyers says no.
Now with 20% more raptor noises!
Good. I hate that guy.
Wait, let me take a deep breath... (ahem)... NEEEERRRDDDDSSSSS!
Just take it. Take it all.
No more Harry Potter vs Simba?!
Do NOT attempt "Lawrence Mode".
Finally, they listen.
It's just fake clothes, guys.
Salt of the Earth.
I'm sure you're really nice and all but...
One of them's getting thrown through a window into a horse trough.
"Jeez, it's like you've never been a voodoo doll before."
So Jacob and I get to keep our jobs or...?
"We've gotta come up with a name for this stupid giraffe..."
Well, we had a good run.
"There's no nudity but you'll hear something."
Now with more Lawrence getting thrown into boxes!
Everybody loves politics in their gaming content, right?
Sh*t! Look busy, everyone!
What else would we be talking about?
Gotta make that Quiche!
Be nice in the comments section. Pretty please.
He prefers the term "Alt-Right".
We like 'em thiiiick.
So many spooks!
Oh man. We're boned.
But... but Zelda.
"When's 'Great-Uncle' gonna make it?"
Always look forward. Never look back.
Thanks for a great year!
Nobody wants to get "Full Rubin'd.
"That's menstrual humor."
"I'm much more likely to see a vagina by the end of this week than I am to cut a dude in half with a chainsaw."
"It's driving me loco which means Spanish crazy!"
Are the Gaming Lizard Men real too?
Yeah, there are spoilers here.
Well, what do YOU suggest I do in the office bathroom every half hour?
Pew, pew, pew!
Everyone's least favorite space game vs. space game nobody's played.
Take your pick!
Our body dysmorphia says otherwise.
Kids be gamblin'.
Not most of us, apparently.
Just take your ball and go.
Consensual poking only please.
It's so damn thin!
Take a listen and unleash your rage.
Ugh boy. Here we go.
Hey, Hackers. Quit your cryin'.
Yiff, yiff, yiff...
But do you squat, bro?
Hopefully not all of us.
Some would use the word "hero."
We all are, a little.
"It just gets larger and larger and larger and black!"
Uuuggghh. So hung over.
"It's not like punk rock when punk rock was punk rock..."
"I wanted to turn around and just push him in the street."
Just like what you like.
Cap v Stark, Batman v Supes, Bruce v Lego Games
But what if it were ALWAYS great? We love America so much.
This holiday is going to be expensive, shit.
We're back to philosophical rambling this week.
Snap-judging things we haven't seen: the podcast.
We really need to figure out how to retain employees.
Somehow we fill an entire hour just saying "yes."
Only REEL GAMURZ allowed in this podcast.
The answer is yes. OR NO?!?
Shockingly, this all sounds pretty legit.
Although we mostly focus on Gods of Egypt.
Monetizing Adam's sadness for years.
Insert witty caption here.
We hardly knew ye, except we knew ye pretty well.
Well, Adam and Bruce are back from Fiji, so we finally decided to weigh in. Are you happy, Internet? ARE YOU HAPPY?!
This podcast was filmed this week at RTX Australia! We somehow made it through the event only hitting one attendee in the head with a boomerang.
Did you know that we actually do a version of our old Fan Art and Comments show still, right before Dude Soup? That's right, we do. But you can only watch it if you're a Rooster Teeth sponsor.
In the time since this Dude Soup recorded, less than 24 hours ago, so much has happened. Storms have swept the land, news has broken.
Our first Dude Soup of 2016 (TWENTYSIXTEEN!) gets things started off right with a good ol' controversy. The AssCreed franchise may not be putting out a new game this year - do you want one?
SPOILER ALERT, GUYS Yeah, we said it. We're gonna FIX STAR WARS. Because it's BROKE Broke so many goddamn records because it's fucking great. Really, we're just nitpicking; we loved it.
*insert funny Joel description here*
No, we didn't mean Half-Life 3. We MEANT Half-Life 2. Episode 4, though. So don't correct our title, but don't get too excited, either.
Ohhhhhhh, buddy we had a great time on Dude Soup this week. Chad from Screw Attack joined us for a real zesty discussion about games, and games of the year, and game awards that games win, and which games should be considered for those awards.
Thanks Lenovo Gaming and GameState for sponsoring this podcast! Visit LenovoGameState.com to give your feedback on the first mission: good guys, bad guys, and weapons. Most importantly, we need to add ass-less chaps to the game.
Welcome to another resplendent episode of Dude Soup, the only Soup that talks about the talk you care about. This week's Soupman talks about everything from Fallout to Battleout, and then and again! So strap onto your booters and take a chill pill cause h
[Spoiler Warning] We talk about Spectre. No outright spoilers but some leading statements. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Thanks to Game Director Brian Horton of Rise of the Tomb Raider for coming to our crappy office and letting us play his amazing game on our crappy podcast.
Today we were lucky enough to welcome Anthony Carboni into the Soup to talk about YouTube Red. What is YouTube Red? What's it going to mean for you, the audience, and us, the creators? Will it effect how you watch videos? How much is it going to ruin your
We've been in Austin visiting the rest of the RT family 3 of the last 4 weeks, and it's been nice. Reeaaalll nice. Good BBQ. Good weather. Good studio facilities. Only real problem is the jerkwad dickbags who work there. They pranked us. Hard. And it wasn
I was going to write an opening crawl joke here, but then I remembered 3 things: 1) It's a tired joke; everyone's done it already 2) I'VE done it already, for another Star Wars video 3) They're really annoying to write, anyway
We'd like to welcome another dude to the soup today: Geoff Ramsey, from the great state of Rooster Teeth, Texassss. He's got the devil-may-care attitude. He's got the beard. But does he have the edgy opinions necessary to stand out in this bowl?
I guess Fallout 4 announced that they're not doing console exclusive windows, which seems pretty ok to me. I can't believe that some people are upset by this, but apparently they are?
Yeah, yeah, virtual reality is pretty cool, and we're all glad to be able to talk about it in depth (finally) but in other news, today is Joel's birthday.
HUUUUGE news this week, everyone!! Looks like YouTube finally lost in court and Fair Use laws are being upheld finally! We can upside anything we want and claim fair use! No more copyright strikes!! That's great news for content creators everywhere, and i
Lots of you guys have asked us to comment on this, so here it is! Our former employer, Machinima, has been found guilty of violating FTC guidelines.
Well, our second trial of Dude Soup Live, at PAX in Seattle, went really well. EXTRAORDINARILY well, if you ask me.
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Is Fallout Shelter gonna make more money than the legendary Fallout 4? There is a very strong possibility considering how well Fallout Shelter has been doing in the app store.
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