Imaginary Advice

A miscellany of stories, written and presented by Ross Sutherland.


  • 61 Mise en Abyme (with Luke Kennard)

    Jul 13 2019

    Artworks within artworks within artworks. Featuring new poetry from Luke Kennard

  • 60 Mark Can't Rap / "Ab"

    Jun 10 2019

    The first two episodes of "Mark Can't Rap", a new podcast series by Mark Grist. Mark sets out to teach himself the fundamentals of rap, through conversations with British MCs. Intermission: "Ab" - a piece on the Liverpool hiphop scene by Ross Sutherland.

  • 59 Scarecrow

    May 12 2019

    A new short story by Tim Clare. Tim's new novel The Ice House is out now: https://canongate.co.uk/books/2531-the-ice-house/

  • 58 Party on Earth 2.0

    Apr 08 2019

    Ross transforms a word-search into a story about a house party. Score written by Jeremy Warmsley https://jeremywarmsley.bandcamp.com/

  • 57 Haunt Your Own House

    Mar 08 2019

    Part one: Ross tries to re-establish his home town as the most haunted village in England (originally broadcast on Short Cuts, Radio 4) Part two: Ross explains the plot of Lovejoy Part three: Ross explores the phenomenon of "set-jetting" Part four: a ghost tour of Peterborough, voted worst place to live in England in 2019 To support the podcast, please visit: www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland


    Feb 12 2019

    Wouldn't it be great if you could listen to podcasts ALL THE TIME FOREVER AND EVER? If you'd like to support Imaginary Advice, goto www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland Show website: www.imaginaryadvice.com

  • 55 The Other Ross Sutherland

    Dec 26 2018

    Ross Sutherland shares the same name as a Scottish Rugby team. If he searches for his name on Twitter, he tends to find a bunch of teenagers talking about murdering him at the weekend. Taken from a live show in Colchester Essex, December '18. Support the show on Patreon: www.Patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 54 One More Song

    Dec 12 2018

    Two people putting their faith in music: Part One: Ross resurrects an old writing exercise to find his way out of writer's block, assisted by Magic 105.4. Part Two: a hapless artist moves to the Appalachian mountains to DJ for bears. If you'd like to support Imaginary Advice, consider giving a small monthly donation: www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 53 Make It Real

    Oct 29 2018

    Ross explores the craft of storytelling in the British professional wrestling scene. (Originally broadcast on Radio 4. Produced by Eleanor McDowell for Falling Tree productions)

  • 52 The Man Who Saw Tomorrow [4TH BIRTHDAY EPISODE]

    Sep 27 2018

    Ross finds something in an old box of cassette tapes, and sets out to finish a story he started a long long time ago. Imaginary Advice needs your help! To support the show on Patreon, goto: www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 51 After This

    Aug 22 2018

    Ross presents two stories on the afterlife: 1/ Hollywood Forever. Ross investigates the resting place of forgotten actors at London’s Cinema Museum (Originally broadcast on Radio 4’s Short Cuts programme). 2/ Please Hold: a short story about a life on the line. To help keep Imaginary Advice going, please goto www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 50 Four or Five Weddings and One or Two Funerals

    Jul 21 2018

    Featuring guest John Osborne. Ross and John retell the making of Four Weddings and a Funeral, in wildly conflicting styles. Thanks for listening! To support Imaginary Advice on Patreon, goto: https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 49 Re: The Moon

    Jun 15 2018

    Ross tries to get people to look at the moon. Part one: an essay on the the moon's special place in poetry. Part two: a school tries to stop its werewolf problem before it begins. Part three: a story of teenage wasters, told using one vowel only. Support the show through Patreon at https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 23 Nice My Selector (repeat)

    Jun 04 2018

    (Repeat)A love story on the dancefloor. Remixed for 2018!

  • 6 "Episode One" (repeat)

    May 31 2018

    (Repeat) A man who spends his entire life trying to make a single podcast episode about the Baldwin brothers.

  • 17 Six House Parties (repeat)

    May 28 2018

    (Repeat episode) A rivalry, told across six fancy dress parties.

  • 48 Naked People Have More Explaining To Do

    May 14 2018

    Ross presents four love poems. Poems are "Here", "Nude", "Things To Do Before You Finally Leave Town" and "The End of our Marriage". Also includes a special intermission on sport. Consider supporting the podcast on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 47 Me Versus The Spar (Parts 1 to 7)

    Apr 03 2018

    Ross Sutherland tries to expunge a bad memory by rewriting it over and over.

  • 46 Incantations

    Feb 26 2018

    Ross Sutherland explores the relationship between cinema, poetry and magic.

  • 45 S.E.I.N.F.E.L.D.

    Jan 15 2018

    Ross Sutherland tries to train a neural net to do stand-up comedy. To support the podcast through Patreon, goto: https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 43 Exorcist Martin Cole

    Oct 31 2017

    Ross presents a special ghost story for Halloween: a young priest discovers the true relationship between Art and the Devil. NB. This story is a follow-up to 'Exorcist Dave Stewart" (episode 33/34). You don't have to listen to that episode first. However, if you enjoy this one, make sure you check the other too. Tickets to the Imaginary Advice Live Show in London: https://www.bac.org.uk/content/44239/whats_on/whats_on/shows/imaginary_advice_live Support the podcast through Patreon! https://w...more

  • Imaginary Advice: Live in London (Tues 7th Nov '17)

    Oct 11 2017

    Special announcement! I'll be doing a live show at Battersea Art Centre on Tuesday 7th November. For more details, check the Imaginary Advice Facebook group, or go to www.bac.org.uk

  • 42 Missing Episode Commentary Track [3RD BIRTHDAY EP]

    Oct 11 2017

    For the third birthday of Imaginary Advice, Ross Sutherland presents a commentary track for his BBC2 TV programme, Missing Episode. Watch the programme on iPlayer (throughout October 2017) https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b098tcwd/performance-live-missing-episode After that, you can find the film at www.imaginaryadvice.com

  • 41 In Which I Confess to Many Murders

    Aug 28 2017

    In place of a regular episode, Ross presents five new poems. Discover the rich history of blue rectangles, take an octopus onto the streets of Cambridge, write a love letter to a telepath, all the while becoming an accessory to a series of (grossly under-appreciated) murders.

  • 40 The Sutherland Dunthorne Luck Index (featuring Joe Dunthorne)

    Aug 03 2017

    Ross takes author Joe Dunthorne to a casino. Support the Imaginary Advice podcast through Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland For more info, go to www.imaginaryadvice.com

  • 39 I Heart 1984

    Jul 12 2017

    Ross exploits feelings of nostalgia with a poorly remembered celebration of the year 1984. Afterwards, he reads a depressing children's story about a boy who can look 180 degrees behind him.

  • 38 Scooby Doo & The Black Sea of Infinity (w/ Tim Clare)

    Jun 05 2017

    Ross talks to author Tim Clare about how storytelling can be used in the face of nihilism. Meanwhile, Mystery Inc ends up trapped inside an HP Lovecraft story. To support the podcast through Patreon, goto https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 37 Dear Chris

    May 10 2017

    After 36 episodes, the podcast finally gets around to offering some advice. Featuring guest writer Chris Hicks (McSweeneys)

  • 36 Science For Wankers

    Apr 10 2017

    Ross Sutherland explores the relationship between science and storytelling. Contains the poem 'Experiment To Determine the Existence of Love' and a new TV show pitch for Dr Brian Cox. I really want Imaginary Advice to continue, but to do so, I need your help! To donate to the show, visit https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 35 Violence Makes Any Story Real

    Mar 07 2017

    Ross Sutherland tells the story of the time he accidentally became a storyline in a UK wrestling promotion. Originally broadcast on Radio 4's Short Cuts for Falling Tree productions.

  • 34 Exorcist Dave Stewart (Pt 2)

    Feb 02 2017

    An exorcist faces the toughest case of his career in a new story by Ross Sutherland (part 2 of 2)

  • 33 Exorcist Dave Stewart (Pt 1)

    Jan 09 2017

    An exorcist faces the toughest case of his career in a new story by Ross Sutherland (part 1 of 2). Support the podcast through Patreon! Donate $5 or more and receive a secret bonus episode. www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland Visit the website for more info on the podcast: https://www.imaginaryadvice.com/

  • 32 Jerusalem + 7

    Dec 26 2016

    Ross Sutherland rewrites Jerusalem, in collaboration with Golden Age of Steam and composer Matthew Kaner. Listen to the full BBC episode here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04lkxh6 Support Imaginary Advice through Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland New podcast website! For films, books and extra episodes: https://www.imaginaryadvice.com/

  • 31 You Can't Go Home Again [2ND BIRTHDAY EPISODE]

    Nov 22 2016

    For a special second birthday episode, Ross Sutherland records a correspondence with poet Aaron Kent. Having stopped writing poetry in recent years, Ross tries to use the space to revisit his love of verse. Ross tries to investigate why he wrote and also come to terms with why he stopped. Support the podcast through Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland Listen to all of Aaron's interviews: poeticinterviews.wordpress.com

  • 30 One Track Minds

    Nov 03 2016

    This month, in a crossover with the One Track Minds podcast, Ross discusses his favourite song of all time. Recorded live at the Tabernacle in October 2016. For more about One Track Minds, goto http://www.onetrackminds.uk/

  • 29 Casino Exit

    Sep 17 2016

    Ross Sutherland tells the story of his time working in a casino. Support the podcast through Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland Come watch my new palindromic play, PARTY TRAP at Shoreditch Town Hall: http://shoreditchtownhall.com/theatre-performance/whats-on/event/ross-sutherland-party-trap

  • 28 If Hitler

    Jul 30 2016

    Ross Sutherland talks about using Hitler to win arguments. To support the podcast, go to https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland to pledge a small monthly donation.

  • 27 The Artist As A Viable Alternative To Death

    Jun 23 2016

    A short extract from Ross McCleary's new book, available to order from Maudlin House in July. Use the code ARTIST20 for a 20% discount on the book. To stream Ross Sutherland's film for free, go to: standbyfortapebackup.com More information on Ross' palindromic play, Party Trap, at: http://www.showandtelluk.com/event/party-trap/ To support the podcast, go to www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland to pledge a small monthly donation.

  • 26 Duck Family in Abandoned Fairground

    May 21 2016

    Ross Sutherland mashes together the themes of two previous episodes, creating a brand new story about a dystopian theme park. Support the podcast through Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland More info on supporting the podcast at http://imaginaryadvice.tumblr.com

  • 25 Hug Freddy

    Apr 19 2016

    Ross Sutherland talks about dreams and the things they fail to teach us. Consider supporting the podcast through Patreon! It'll help keep this going: https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland This year, we're releasing a film adaptation of our "Wash Club" episode! For more infomation: http://www.crowdfunder.co.uk/washclub

  • 24 Repeat After Me

    Mar 15 2016

    Ross Sutherland explores the consequences of repeating ourselves. With readings from Ryan Wan Winkle and Janice Acquah. Support the podcast through Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland Listen to the Joe Muggs remix of last week's episode: https://www.mixcloud.com/NTSRadio/love-drain-22nd-february-2016/

  • 23 Nice My Selector

    Feb 08 2016

    Ross Sutherland presents a love story between a DJ and his number one fan. Support the podcast though Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland For more info on Ross' upcoming theatre tour: http://www.showandtelluk.com/event/standby-for-tape-back-up-tour-2016/

  • 22 "You Just Won The Game"

    Jan 10 2016

    Ross Sutherland reveals a brand new zodiac based on the videogame Street Fighter 2. Visit the Penned in the Margins website to download a book of all twelve sonnets for free: http://www.pennedinthemargins.co.uk/index.php/2011/10/hyakuretsu-kyaku/ You can now support Imaginary Advice through Patreon. Pledge a small monthly donation to keep the podcast going: https://www.patreon.com/rossgsutherland

  • 21 "Gooey Soporific Blurg" [FIRST BIRTHDAY EPISODE]

    Nov 30 2015

    Celebrating the first birthday of Imaginary Advice, Ross Sutherland leaves the comfort of his wardrobe and takes a walk into Peterborough, in the hope that an episode will just "happen" along the way. Also featuring the Grammy nominated rapper, Mystikal.

  • 20 The Questions John Humphrys Cannot Ask

    Nov 06 2015

    Ross Sutherland remixes an episode of Radio 4's 'The Today Programme' into poetry. Also: the least inspired DJ set of all time.


    Oct 08 2015

    Ross Sutherland spends National Poetry Day mashing keyboards with a class of seven-year olds

  • 18 Infinite Non-Linear Break-Up Speech

    Sep 16 2015

    Ross Sutherland explains the background to a new poetry project that uses the mp3 shuffle function to create an endlessly regenerating poem. Download the album for free at https://rosssutherland.bandcamp.com/

  • 17 Six House Parties

    Aug 18 2015

    Ross Sutherland takes you through six house parties. To support the podcast, go to imaginaryadvice.tumblr.com

  • 16 In the Beginning

    Jul 28 2015

    (Story starts at 7min mark) A love story told through the eyes of an astronomer. What use is Carl Sagan to a man about to lose his family forever? Originally commissioned by the London Science Museum. Written and presented by Ross Sutherland. To support the podcast & learn more about the show, goto http://imaginaryadvice.tumblr.com/

  • 15 The Underground Kingdom

    Jul 07 2015

    Ross Sutherland visits the secret tunnels that run under Disneyworld.

  • 14 My Belated Review of "The Matrix: Reloaded"

    Jun 15 2015

    Once upon a time, Ross Sutherland was sent to review the second Matrix film for a UK magazine. That night turned out to be the most embarrassing night of his life. Consequently, the review was never written. Now, twelve years later, Ross is finally turning it in.

  • 13 The Black Album By Jay-Z (remixed as a short story)

    May 30 2015

    Ross Sutherland remixes Jay-Z acapellas into a brand new short story. Lost inside the Tate Modern, a nine year old boy uses The Black Album as an audio-guide to try and understand the art.

  • 12 The Night Before The Battle Of The Bands

    Apr 15 2015

    Ross Sutherland presents a story about a whole lot of bodies in a very small town. Originally written to accompany the new Summer Camp album, "Bad Love".

  • 11 Answer In The Form Of A Question

    Mar 30 2015

    Ross Sutherland tells the story of watching an IBM supercomputer compete on Jeopardy.

  • 10 Fake Penis Memory Implants

    Mar 09 2015

    Ross Sutherland presents two pieces of science-fiction: poem "The Circus" and short-story "The Hand".

  • 9 Are You A Member Of Wash Club?

    Feb 18 2015

    Ross Sutherland tells the story of how he invented a secret society by accident.

  • 8 Welcome to the Big House

    Feb 09 2015

    Ross Sutherland tells a true story about teaching poetry in prison. Also: a children's poem about shoes.

  • 7 All Outcomes Are Positive, Even If Not Desired (Found Text Special)

    Jan 24 2015

    Ross Sutherland presents a series of "found" poems. Contains text stolen from IMDB, the obituary pages, an old journal and Johnny Cash's audiobook of the Bible.

  • 6 "Episode One"

    Jan 14 2015

    Ross Sutherland presents a monologue about a man trying to record a podcast. The Baldwin brothers feature heavily.

  • 5 Twas The Nightmare Before CROM

    Dec 22 2014

    Ross Sutherland uses a dictionary to rewrite "Twas The Night Before Christmas"

  • 4 Bart Simpson Carnival Balloon

    Dec 12 2014

    Ross Sutherland postpones christmas cheer to talk about two near-death experiences.

  • 3 A Doctor With A Gun Heals Parts Other Doctors Cannot Reach

    Nov 28 2014

    Ross Sutherland shares some reviews of made-up art, disseminated during the Liverpool Biennial. Also: a monologue by a haunted abstract painting.

  • 2 Wee City Of Porcelain, Poll-Tax, Kestrels, And Billy Bragg Cassettes

    Nov 13 2014

    Host Ross Sutherland attempts to uncover the true story behind the film Braveheart.

  • 1 Crying At The Back Of An Ed Byrne Show

    Oct 26 2014

    Host Ross Sutherland tells the story of the worst job he was ever offered.