Podcast

ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show

Is your marriage everything that you want it to be? Are you ready to make a change? Join Tony and Alisa DiLorenzo as they share tips and stories on how to create the marriage that you want. Marriage is not always easy but it’s so worth it. Come and make your marriage EXTRAORDINARY!

Episodes

  • 467: TIME FOR BED

    Feb 12 2019

    "Going to bed at night saying WE’VE done something wonderful. That’s what matters to me." —Steve Jobs What does your bedtime routine look like with your spouse? We want to dive into the value you can get from creating your own bedtime routine -- together. Our routine has changed over the years. In our early years, going to bed together wasn’t a priority for us, it wasn’t even on our radar as a potential snare. A big shift that helped us to make bedtime more fun for both of ...more

  • 466: THE CHALLENGE WITH A SEX CHALLENGE

    Feb 05 2019

    "Treat objections as requests for further information." —Brian Tracy Life is stressful, but when you are too busy (or tired) to find some time for sexual intimacy, it can really seem unbearable. The end result is that sex is pushed to the back burner until a later date. Problem is that “later date” doesn’t seem to come around, which leads to frustration and resentment. Of course you have lots on your plate with family, work, church, outdoor activities, play dates and more. B...more

  • 465: DATE NIGHT

    Jan 29 2019

    "Live less out of habit and more out of intention." —Anonymous While it is an element of marriage, sharing life is no substitute for dating your spouse -- it requires an element of intentionality. And dating isn’t just sharing a meal - for something to be considered a date, there must be a romantic interest that is expressed. If it could be mistaken for something you’d do with your sibling, don’t call it a date. If there’s no interaction or connection between the two of you...more

  • 464: BEING PREGNANT AND MARRIED

    Jan 22 2019

    "Your priorities aren't what you SAY they are. They are revealed by how you live. What does your life say about the value of your family and marriage?" —Jimmy Evans Fatigue. Nausea. Sex drive changes. Distractions. New obligations. We get it, these are real issues that affect your marriage. But they are just new-to-you challenges that you and your spouse get to work through together. An opportunity to emerge stronger at the other end -- together. This baby doesn’t make you ...more

  • 463: TIME FOR THE MONEY CONVERSATION

    Jan 15 2019

    "Money problems destroy marriage, get on the same page with your spouse and work together toward a common goal." —Anonymous We all shy away from talking about money in any meaningful way. By doing this, we discount the value of having good communication on this topic that is central to everything we do. Early in our marriage, we had lots of confusion to say the least -- we didn’t have a handle of what bills even existed. Add to that being self-employed, going down to one income, st...more

  • 462: GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD AND INTO YOUR BED

    Jan 08 2019

    "Overthinking ruins you, ruins the situation, twists things around, makes you worry and just makes everything much worse than it is." —Anonymous Being in the moment, mentally, during sex can be a struggle for everyone. While women tend to be the assumed offender, men can fall prey to this, too. There are seasons in marriage when it may be more prevalent than others, but as we are mindful of the effects of disengagement you can be quicker to rebound to a place of experiencing true ...more

  • 461: IN THE MOMENT

    Jan 01 2019

    "Realize deeply that the present moment is all that you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life." —Anonymous The dichotomy between being fully present with your spouse and being two passing ships makes all the difference in your marriage, and that’s why we are dedicating our 2019 theme as #InTheMoment. Being in the moment, fully present with your spouse, will not only transform your date nights and intimacy but also permeates all other aspects of your life. Skepti...more

  • 460: MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM AROUND THE WORLD

    Dec 26 2018

    "The magic of Christmas never ends and it’s greatest of gifts are family and friends!" —Anonymous EPISODE SPONSOR | ONE Conference Join Tony and Alisa for a marriage conference unlike any other! True to the ONE Extraordinary Marriage approach, we cut straight to the heart of hurdles in your marriage. The ONE Conference unites you with your spouse, connects you with others in the ONE Family, and enhances intimacies in your marriage. Register today before it sells out. Other Re...more

  • 459: TRADITIONS

    Dec 18 2018

    "At the heart of every family tradition is a meaningful experience." —Anonymous Traditions abound throughout December. We wanted to share with you how to make the traditions that you celebrate meaningful in your marriage and family. The two things that valuable traditions exhibit are: 1) they involve quality time and 2) they require participants to be fully present. Traditions aren’t a modern-times invention, but rather have been around as long as the earth. They each have a...more

  • 458: BETTER THAN YESTERDAY

    Dec 11 2018

    "You can’t have a better tomorrow if you are thinking about yesterday all the time." —Charles Kettering A lot of people look at us (Tony & Alisa) and think this is just the type of marriage that we have - we got lucky. But there is nothing “special” about us. We have not always been happily married. We’ve been through the trenches. We have been through seasons when we didn’t talk to each other because there was nothing to say. We didn’t put any effort into ourselves or our marriage for yea...more

  • 457: 12 SEXY DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

    Dec 04 2018

    "Success is where preparation and opportunity meet." —Bobby Unser Do you want to have a fabulous Christmas season? We certainly do, and we want to equip you to take advantage of the season. Success is where preparation and opportunity meet. We thought about what it would look like to build out the 12 days of Christmas as a community of married couples? Pick 12 days to romance your spouse this month - do one thing each day and it will be a remarkable two weeks. What’s your ...more

  • 456: BEING INTIMATE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

    Nov 27 2018

    "The most wonderful time of the year." —Andy Williams We initially set out to do this show about connecting sexually throughout the Christmas season, but as we heard from you guys we realized that this season throws many different types of weapons and all types of intimacy are under attack. And you won’t connect well sexually if you haven’t already connected well emotionally. Based on a poll on Instagram (follow us here), we see that 76% of you struggle with having enough ti...more

  • 455: EXPRESSING GRATITUDE

    Nov 20 2018

    "The miracle of gratitude is that it shifts your perception in to such an extent that it changes the world you see." —Dr. Robert Holden We’ve talked about showing thankfulness in other shows, but today we’re going to focus on the need we have as humans to express gratitude. Do you know anyone who complains a lot? That could be any of us - there’s certainly plenty of tragedy today - but when someone chooses to acknowledge the positive around them, it may or may not impact the world,...more

  • 454: DEALING WITH THE IN-LAWS

    Nov 13 2018

    "No one should come between you and your spouse. They should come alongside you but not between you." —Ashley McIlwain When our son was 4 months old Tony’s dad took our little family out for lunch. Everything was going well until he offered our baby some of his Coca-Cola ®. As Alisa’s eyes were about to pop out of their sockets and Tony stammered with the right words to speak, we saw the potential for tension and conflict across our families. There are stages and layers of relation...more

  • 453: FEAR IS CRIPPLING MARRIAGES

    Nov 06 2018

    "When we invite fear, doubt or worry to occupy seats in the boardroom of our heart, all kinds of things can wreck the joy of our marriages." —Anonymous Fear is a natural human emotion. It has a biological purpose to enable us to perceive danger and make wise choices. But it creeps way beyond its healthy place and is wreaking havoc on marriages around the world today. Fear is not always met with a rapid heartbeat and beads of sweat. It’s often the silent weight that you carry that k...more

  • 452: MULTIPLE ORGASMS

    Oct 30 2018

    "The only thing better than having an orgasm? Having another orgasm." —Anonymous There aren’t a lot of hard-numbers on this topic due to the private and self-reported nature, but 45% of married women and 20% of married men say that they can have multiple orgasms in a given sexual encounter (see more stats like that here). Everyone’s body, preferences and experiences are different. For Tony and Alisa, we spent the first five years of marriage with Alisa faking orgasms. It t...more

  • 451: QUANTITY AND QUALITY SEX LIFE

    Oct 23 2018

    "Quality is never the result of an accident. It is always the result of intelligent effort." —John Ruskin Many things in life have a trade-off between quantity and quality: the diamond you can get within a budget, the number friendships you can maintain, even the pleasure from an In-N-Out burger will diminish quickly if eaten three times per day. However we don’t want that principle to choke out the truth regarding your sexual intimacy. The more hours you spend playing bask...more

  • 450: THOSE BODILY FUNCTIONS

    Oct 16 2018

    "Never trust a girl who doesn’t fart, you don’t know what else she’s holding back from you." — Anonymous We know that even reading about this topic makes some people feel uncomfortable. And if you and your spouse feel exactly the same way about your bodily functions you don’t need to read on. However, in just about every marriage there’s one spouse who feels more private about certain functions than their spouse, and if left unresolved, this can result in significant loss of intim...more

  • 449: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

    Oct 09 2018

    "Words are free, it’s how you use them that may cost you." —Anonymous When a couple is first dating both gals and guys tend to be hyper-aware of their communication -- analyzing word choice, pauses and body language. Perhaps reading too far between the lines, we attempt to decipher intention and underlying emotions behind the words. And then after some amount of time into marriage, the tables are turned and we forget to consider our spouse’s perspective when we speak. Especially du...more

  • 448: WORKING OUT FORGIVENESS

    Oct 02 2018

    "Don’t let the past limit the future." —Anonymous Many people don’t think that they struggle with forgiveness, especially as it pertains to marriage. Just because you aren’t currently suffering from feelings of resentment towards your spouse doesn’t mean that your “forgiveness muscle” has no work to be done. Are you lacking joy in your marriage? Do you struggle with past hurts from parents, friends, previous relationships? Do you find it easy to say “I forgive you”, but hard to lea...more

  • 447: MAKE INTIMACY A PRIORITY

    Sep 25 2018

    "Great things never come from inside the comfort zone." —Anonymous It’s one thing to say your marriage is a top priority for you (and since you’re reading this post, it probably is). It’s something else entirely when you commit to improving specific areas of your marriage with accountability. Have you discussed with your spouse what their sexual desires are at this stage of your life? What are you doing about it? We’ve found sexual intimacy to be so vital to the health of ...more

  • 446: MORNING SEX

    Sep 18 2018

    "Every morning starts a new page in your story. Make it a great one today." —Anonymous The most popular time for couples to have sex is Saturday at 7:33am. It makes sense that it would be a weekend, most people are off work, many go on dates and outside obligations tend to be minimized. But we don’t want you to miss out on an intimacy superhero just because it might take a little bit more strategy. As we discussed on episode 424 The Anatomy of an Erection, when you and your...more

  • 445: WE DIDN’T KNOW

    Sep 11 2018

    "When I first met you I honestly didn’t know how important you were going to be to me." —Anonymous What you don’t know is sometimes better than you ever imagined. That’s what Tony and Alisa learned this weekend at the ONE Conference. One jam-packed day, 8 sessions plus workshops, 100 married people, and hundreds of “ah-ha” moments experienced. We learned how much stronger the power of the ONE family is than we realized. We saw how much more powerful face-to-face communi...more

  • 444: KEEP THE ROMANCE ALIVE

    Sep 04 2018

    "I fell in love with the way that you touched me without using your hands." —Anonymous Romance is pretty self-explanatory, right? Wrong! What seems to come so naturally and be more potent than drugs while dating can become elusive as a couple spends years and decades together. ONE Extraordinary Marriage conducted an anonymous online survey to uncover what’s really going on in marriages. Here’s what we found: [Infographic] How Important is Romance? Each person is unique, ...more

  • 443: HONEST TRUTH ABOUT THE FEMALE ORGASM

    Aug 28 2018

    "It takes 237 muscles to fake an orgasm, but only 15 to say, "It's called a clitoris and it's right here."" — Viral Meme For all of the great movies that the film industry has produced over the decades, they have done marriages a huge disservice by disseminating lies about female orgasms. Real damage is being done across the world: women and men believe that their sex lives are insufficient because the wife doesn’t seem to be able to orgasm properly… during vaginal intercourse dur...more

  • 442: NEVER TOO OLD FOR SEX

    Aug 21 2018

    "You can’t help getting older but you don’t have to get OLD." —George Burns How old do you think you will be when you stop having sex? In case no one else has, let us be the first to tell you that there’s no age at which sexual intimacy in marriage ceases to be a reality. The truth is that all of us get older every day, but just like learning and education are lifelong processes, so is your sexual intimacy. Don’t accept the Hollywood stereotype that says only the young hav...more

  • 441: CRITICAL FEEDBACK

    Aug 14 2018

    "Giving honest and well intended feedback is often confused with being mean. It’s not mean. It’s nice." —Robert Kiyosaki Good feedback is like good discipline. The process is not often pleasant, but it yields immensely fruitful results. Poorly communicated feedback is like rotten food -- good for nothing and can make you sick. Rather than dig into all of the horror stories of spouses tearing each other down, we’re going to focus on how to lovingly and effectively communicate critic...more

  • 440: WHAT MEN GET FROM FOREPLAY

    Aug 07 2018

    "Don’t rush through foreplay. Play with each other until you can’t take it anymore." —Anonymous Foreplay is probably a lot more than what comes to mind when you hear the word. It is the emotional and physical intimate acts between husband and wife meant to create sexual arousal and desire for sexual activity. This often starts before you get to the bedroom, with clothes still on, and sometimes even before a kiss or embrace. We talk regularly about the benefits and perspe...more

  • 439: STOP SERVING THOSE LEFTOVERS

    Jul 31 2018

    "Most couples make the mistake of giving each other the remains of the day. The leftover time after every other relationship and task has been attended to. This is not only backwards, but destructive. Stellar partners give each other prime time, and make each other their top priority." — Dr. Rhoberta Shaler Your schedule is so busy and stressful that by the time you and your spouse are both off work, kids are in bed, the house is picked up and other obligations have been taken care of...more

  • 438: DO THE OPPOSITE

    Jul 24 2018

    "In order to carry a positive action we must develop here a positive vision." —Dalai Lama When conflict or tension arises, human instinct is to switch into self-preservation mode. Someone hurts us, we close ourselves off. We overspend and then attempt to cover it up. In a recent conversation with a divorce attorney he shared how couples who are talking about divorce usually perpetuate themselves further apart simply because they react differently than a couple who are worki...more

  • 437: THE ART OF MANSCAPING

    Jul 17 2018

    "I think grooming is undervalued by men. We expect women to be fully groomed which they do. But I also think it’s just as important for a man to look clean and fresh." —Lewis Hamilton Manscaping: The removal or trimming of hair on a man's body for cosmetic effect. This can be any place: his facial hair, chest, back, arms, legs, nose, ears, or pubic region. We’re going to dive into this topic because 82% of women desire for their husbands to be manscaped in some way, but only 23% o...more

  • 436: SEX DURING HER PERIOD

    Jul 10 2018

    "Do not be too timid or squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment." —Ralph Waldo Emerson A topic like having sex while the wife is on her period is such a personal preference that we won’t presume to be prescriptive. But no one is talking about it - in fact we bet that you and your spouse haven’t had a candid conversation about it. For our entire marriage we have generally avoided sex during Alisa’s period. We’re open about where she is in her cycle and mental...more

  • 435: HE’S NOT YOUR CHILD

    Jul 03 2018

    "Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs." —Strachan Hurd “He’s my other child.” What starts out as a joke between a wife and her friend, or a comment in a blog post, or spoken in frustration plants a seed of change in how she sees her husband. While it might seem innocuous at first, it quickly puts a divide in the unity between husband and wife. A word to wives: It snowballs. You might never even verbalize it again, but the next time you’re pi...more

  • 434: LESSONS FROM THE BEACH

    Jun 26 2018

    "Attitude is the difference between an ordeal and an adventure." —Anonymous Last weekend we did a new type of challenge. We traveled the beaches of San Diego County, from Oceanside to the US-Mexican border. Make no mistake, we’ve been to these places hundreds of times before, but never by foot along the entire coastline. There are some awesome lessons we learned along the way. Alisa is doing the 1000 mile challenge this year and as part of it, we decided to challenge oursel...more

  • 433: SETTING UP GUARDRAILS

    Jun 19 2018

    "Guardrails: No one needs one until they do." —Anonymous You know the funny “W” shape that most guardrails have? It’s not an aesthetic element: it’s meticulously designed for maximum shock absorption while redirecting the vehicle towards safety. The truth is that no one really loves guardrails. They don’t appear often in art, they aren’t terribly attractive, most of time they are probably not even noticed. But they are incredibly vital. Their purpose is critical: to protect ...more

  • 432: THE END OF REJECTION

    Jun 12 2018

    "Being afraid of things going wrong isn’t the way to make things go right." —Anonymous Despite what today’s culture would tell you, both men and women want to be both desired and pursued: it just looks different to different genders. Hollywood has done marriages today a great disservice, and we want to help couples who have fallen into its traps to climb out. There were many years of rejection in our marriage. Alisa would turn Tony down time after time. Before you dismi...more

  • 431: MARRIAGE BUILDING HABITS

    Jun 05 2018

    "A bad habit never disappears miraculously. It’s an un-do-it-yourself project." —Abigail Van Buren (Dear Abby) Humans make over 40% of our daily “decisions” not by calculated choice, but by habit. Habits enable us to be as productive as we are today, and they also hold tremendous power. We’re diving into the power you have to create new habits that can help you to create the extraordinary marriage you desire. Here’s what we hear too often: It’s easier to veg out an...more

  • 430: SEXUALLY SATISFIED

    May 29 2018

    "It’s hard to be satisfied with your life (or your marriage), if you are never satisfied with yourself." —Anonymous Did you know that only 15% of wives are completely satisfied with their sexual arousal? That means that at least 85% of marriages have one spouse (if not both) who desire increased sexual arousal.   We’ve identified four areas that can contribute to sexual satisfaction and want to discuss what you can do to overcome potential obstacles.   Two weeks ago we t...more

  • 429: SUMMER LOVIN’

    May 22 2018

    "There is always that one summer that changes you." —Anonymous “Summer lovin’ had me a blast…” Just about everyone loves summer -- it’s filled with so many good things: fireworks, vacations, picnics, gatherings with friends and family, and lots of outdoor fun.   But with all of the good things that come rushing in, it’s easy to let the busyness crowd out intimacy in your marriage. Yes, Danny Zuko and his buddies were eager to relish in the heat of the summer nights, but outs...more

  • 428: DOES THIS OUTFIT MAKE ME LOOK FAT

    May 15 2018

    "Never, ever underestimate the power of your words to build up or tear down the fabric of your marriage." —Anonymous Spoiler alert: Her question has nothing to do with the outfit. No wonder it makes most men’s heads spin. The truth is that negative body image is something that 97% of women and 80-95% of men struggle with. It takes all shapes and forms, and manifests itself very different in each marriage. (In this show we will primarily focus on the wife’s quest for her hus...more

  • 427: TALKING TO YOUR KIDS ABOUT SEX

    May 08 2018

    "The greatest enemy of sexual wholeness today, is silence." —Mark Laaser Did you know that you have been entrusted to raise your kids to be sexually whole? When you equip them for success as a sexual human being, you are impacting generations that will reap the benefits. We challenge you not to leave your kids’ understanding up to chance, the schools, or today’s culture.   Most of what circulates today is not promoting a healthy perspective of either sex or marriage. ...more

  • 426: SEX IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH

    May 01 2018

    "Most people have no idea how good their body is designed to feel." —Kevin Trudeau If you heard of one thing you could do that could improve memory, mood, sleep, intimacy, immunity and heart health*, AND it is a gift for your spouse, wouldn’t you want to do it? The truth is that most married couples have more excuses for not having sex than they even want to admit. Schedules, kids, pain, you name it. At the same time, people today have more health issues than ever before. ...more

  • 425: OH BABY!

    Apr 24 2018

    "Remember that children, marriages and gardens reflect the kind of care they get." —H Jackson Brown Jr. When you have a baby it's an impact on you, your spouse and your marriage. There is great joy and yet it’s not all sweet snuggles, blessings and the oohs and aahs. Whether it’s your first or your 5th, having a baby changes the dynamic between husband and wife. When you find out that you're pregnant, you have dreams of cuddling with your baby, everyone around to help you...more

  • 424: ANATOMY OF AN ERECTION

    Apr 17 2018

    "The pursuit of knowledge is never ending. The day you stop seeking knowledge is the day you stop growing." —Travis Ciaccio It’s a pretty basic understanding that in response to a visual or mental stimuli a man can become aroused and have an erection. But what’s the science behind an erection? Why does it matter that you know the science? There may be times when a husband has an erection and yet his wife may not even notice that he has one. Is this a form of rejection?...more

  • 423: PAYCHECK TO PAYCHECK

    Apr 10 2018

    "Money is an opportunity to reach unity in marriage. When couples work together they can do anything." —Anonymous Money is one of the biggest stressor that you and your spouse can face. Many couples are stressed about money and living paycheck to paycheck. The stress caused by financial issues in marriages can cause other issues as well. These include but are not limited to: Raised blood pressure. Increased depression. Increased anxiety. The three of these t...more

  • 422: WHAT IS THE INTIMACY LIFESTYLE

    Apr 03 2018

    "The capacity to learn is a gift. The ability to learn is a skill. The willingness to learn is a choice." —Brian Herbert The Intimacy Lifestyle was first introduced to the ONE Family many years ago in episode 140 - Scheduling Sex. Since that time many of you have implemented your own Intimacy Lifestyle, way to go! On the other hand there are others who are still trying to figure out what's it all about. So what is the Intimacy Lifestyle? We're going to look at the Intima...more

  • 421: TELLING YOUR SPOUSE YOU STRUGGLE WITH PORN

    Mar 27 2018

    "The truth may hurt for a little while but a lie hurts forever." —Anonymous Tony came into our marriage with an addiction to porn. It started with magazines at a young age and progressed to chat rooms and even trying to pick up women in bars after marriage. The first time that Tony shared his porn addiction was in 2004. At that time Alisa thought that she knew everything and yet she didn’t. She didn’t know about the times Tony tired to pick up other women in bars. ...more

  • 420: CONFIDENCE IN THE BEDROOM

    Mar 20 2018

    "Self confidence is the best outfit, rock it and own it." —Anonymous Having confidence is something that couples have faced inside and outside the bedroom for a long time. You may have faced this in your own life and in your marriage. We hear from many couples and here's what they tell us about their confidence... I feel nervous and I start to giggle. I don’t know what she wants and so I don’t know if I should initiate. Sex isn’t something we’ve ever really talked...more

  • 419: WE HAVE TROUBLE TALKING

    Mar 13 2018

    "Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up and be seen. To ask for what you need. Talk about how you are feeling. To have the hard conversations." —Brene Brown There are many couples that have trouble talking. This is largely due to no formal training in how to communicate with your spouse when you are growing up. For the most part each of us has had to put the pieces together to be able to communicate our desires, likes and dislikes. Were y...more

  • 418: CAUGHT IN THE COMPARISON TRAP

    Mar 06 2018

    "Every minute you spend wishing you had someone else’s life is a minute spent wasting yours." —Anonymous There are times when you can be so focused on other people’s lives that you have stopped living your own. You become fascinated and more interested in what other couples have than on what you can do to create your extraordinary marriages. By doing this you compare your lifestyles, your accomplishments and your appearance. There are times when you compare kids, jobs, ...more

  • 417: CRYSTAL CLEAR

    Feb 27 2018

    "Clarity comes from action, not thought." —Marie Forleo There are many words you use in your marriage to convey a message or connection you have with your spouse. These words are used here on the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show. You read them in marriage books. They come up in conversations with friends. These words work their way into conversation like this… Women need love, men need respect. Couples should go on date nights. I want to feel appreciated. ...more

  • 416: A LONG HOT SHOWER

    Feb 20 2018

    "Let’s go take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower but with us in it." —Anonymous Sex in the shower. Warm water, built in noise machine and just the two of you. It’s the perfect place for some fun.  A hot shower is a stress reliever. You have a full life and sometimes, the warm water of a hot shower makes all the difference between carrying around a boat load of stress and letting it wash down the drain. In the shower you have someone to wash your back. Espec...more

  • 415: WHAT’S YOUR LOVE STORY

    Feb 13 2018

    "Every love story is beautiful but ours is my favorite." —Anonymous Tell us how you met? What was it like in the beginning? These are questions that are often asked of us when we sit down for an interview. There is something about looking back at the starting point of your love story. The first time you spotted them or crossed paths. In that moment your heart may have skipped a beat or inside you knew that this was the person you were going to spend the rest of your...more

  • 414: SEXPLORATION

    Feb 06 2018

    "We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes wide open." —Jawaharlal Nehru When it comes to sex in marriage many couples view it as an obligation instead of an adventure. Sex is something you do for your spouse instead of something you do WITH your spouse. This mindset is robbing both of you the extraordinary beauty that is your marriage relationship. Obliga...more

  • 413: LIKE A BROKEN RECORD

    Jan 30 2018

    "You can’t change what’s going on around you until you change what’s going on within you." —Anonymous Before you decide to marry your spouse you had many deep meaningful conversations. You got to know who they were, their life and their heart. Back in 1994 on "The Hill" in Boulder, Colorado we met for the first time. It was a time before emails, cell phones, instant message and video chat. The long distance bills we racked up during those times are proof of how long o...more

  • 412: HOW ABOUT THESE POSITIONS

    Jan 23 2018

    "Variety is the spice of life. We all want surprises." —Tony Robbins There is a time and a place for routines. And yes, sometimes--sometimes that place can be the bedroom. When you do the same thing over and over again over a period years... Things can get boring! Sometimes the reason couples get into a routine is because neither spouse talks about sex. Talking about different positions doesn't happen unless there is some conversation around the topic. Which mea...more

  • 411: FORGIVENESS WILL SET YOU FREE

    Jan 16 2018

    "When you hold onto anger and unforgiveness you can’t move forward." —Mary J Blige Your marriage started out with the best of intentions. You were never going to hurt each other, were never going to make mistakes, were never going to do anything stupid and then things happened. Instead of rocking the boat, you say things such as, "I’m sorry" without truly meaning it or changing your actions. You offer forgiveness and yet you don't address the pain. And before you know ...more

  • 410: FIND YOUR PRECIOUS MOMENTS EACH WEEK

    Jan 09 2018

    "The greatest gift you can give someone is your time. Because when you are giving your time you are giving a portion of your life that you can never get back." —Anonymous Time is a precious commodity and the crazy thing is... We can’t ever make more of it. Each of us have the same 168 hours each week and yet, how we spend those hours and what we invest our time in can vary greatly. It’s easy to say that your marriage is a priority. It’s easy to say that you make time f...more

  • 409: WHAT CAN I DO

    Jan 02 2018

    "It’s easy to blame others when things are broken. The hard part is recognizing the part you played in it all." —Anonymous It’s the start of a new year. Fresh beginnings. A blank slate. Great expectations. This is a time to look at your marriage and what the future holds. It's a time to bury the past and look to the bright future ahead. Unfortunately, it’s also a time when it's easy to blame others for things that are broken. You may say things like: If you wou...more

  • 408: WRAPPING UP THIS SEASON

    Dec 26 2017

    "There will come a time when you think everything is finished. That will be the beginning." —Louis L’Amour The in between time. You’ve spent countless hours thinking through and anticipating an event, the transition and then you find yourself in a place of wondering. What’s next? Where am I going after this? What do I want to do now? It happens after every transition and especially at the end of one year and the beginning of the next. As the two of you transitio...more

  • 407: SEXY GAMES TO HEAT THINGS UP

    Dec 19 2017

    "Just play, have fun, enjoy the game." —Michael Jordan Life can get a little too serious around the holidays. You're rushing here, there and everywhere! There is a never ending to do list. Plus all of the Christmas parties, holiday events and special get togethers. Then add the wrapping of presents, the baking and traveling on top of it can lead to the two of you not finding time together. When the two of you don’t get time together the stress of the holidays can se...more

  • 406: FAKING IT

    Dec 12 2017

    "Saying you’re happy isn’t the same thing as being happy." —Anonymous This time of year it’s easy to get caught up in what everyone is doing. There are so many events on the calendar where everyone looks amazing. Folks posting family perfect pictures or the endless couple selfies. Everyone seems to have it all together and then there are days when you pull into your driveway or walk into your kitchen or crawl into your bed and you’re thinking... What about us? Wh...more

  • 405: WE DID IT! NOW WHAT?

    Dec 05 2017

    "I didn’t come this far to only come this far." —Anonymous When you take on the 7 Days of Sex challenge you have expectations and your level of success is measured by how intentional you are. The reason... life will happen and you will find yourself challenged when you try and put your marriage first. It’s no different for us. Recently we took on our 8th 7 Days of Sex Challenge and the week had its fair share of challenges and craziness. And yet, as we came to the end of ...more

  • 404: ROCK YOUR SEX LIFE

    Nov 28 2017

    "A lot could happen in a week. Just look at the last one." —Julia Quinn Life at times has a way to take your attention off your marriage and onto other things. Your schedules, kids, volunteer activities, obligations, dinner parties, jobs, businesses, meetings, managers, employees, and everything else can come in the way. And yet if you want to rock your sex life and your marriage at any time of the year you need to be intentional and expect something great to happen. When...more

  • 403: A THANKFUL HEART

    Nov 21 2017

    "When I started counting my blessings my whole life turned around." —Willie Nelson November is a month when thankfulness and gratitude seem to be everywhere. You experience it at local retailers, online, social media, radio and with different challenges that you may be a part of. It’s awesome! And for those in the United States you have a whole day dedicated to being thankful... Thanksgiving Day. You may be excited and overjoyed with the holiday and yet the questio...more

  • 402: HOLIDAY MARRIAGE HACKS

    Nov 14 2017

    "It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way that you carry it. " —Lou Holtz It’s no surprise that the holidays are coming. Recently we’ve mentioned that the holidays are showing up again this year. Along with the holidays comes time with everyone at home, your extended family and all of their quirks. You may incur different expenses, getting the Christmas cards done, baking those holiday favorites and lots of invitations to special events. In general this l...more

  • 401: MOAN OUT LOUD

    Nov 07 2017

    "There’s nothing more exciting than hearing your spouse moan in pleasure and knowing you are responsible for it." —Anonymous Over time we have definitely complicated one of the most amazing things we get to do with our spouse... Having SEX! There are times thought when wive's are sending out signals that confuse their husband's.  It's difficult to interpret in the moment which leads to confusion and doubt in the bedroom. He may begin to ask... Did she have an orgasm?...more

  • 400: HUGS FROM NEAR AND FAR

    Oct 31 2017

    "Remember to celebrate milestones as you prepare for the road ahead." —Nelson Mandela This week is all about the ONE Family. Every 100th show we get behind the microphones and dedicate an entire show with Hugs from you. When we started the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show in our garage we had no idea that we would be here almost 8 years later. It’s been a crazy ride and we know that we are just getting started. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about what the last 39...more

  • 399: WORK SPOUSE DANGER

    Oct 24 2017

    "Most people involved in emotional affairs will downplay the seriousness of the event by claiming that they are just friends or it’s not big deal, nothing happened." —Anonymous A recent conversation with a husband made mention that his wife had a "work husband" and it had crossed the line. She was more emotionally invested in the work spouse than in the marriage itself. The definition of a work spouse is: a co-worker of the opposite sex with whom you have a close platonic...more

  • 398: THE HOLIDAYS ARE COMING

    Oct 17 2017

    "Planning for Thanksgiving and Christmas should take place months in advance. They are not a surprise." —Dave Ramsey What would it feel like to celebrate a financially stress free Christmas? Would you be able to relax, enjoy family, and have a great night of sleep? The fact is the holidays show up, like clockwork every year and yet you still act surprised every single time the Christmas decorations show up in the stores. It’s like… Oh no! How did this happen? W...more

  • 397: FEELING REJECTED

    Oct 10 2017

    "Rejection doesn’t mean that you aren’t good enough. It means the other person failed to notice what you have to offer." —Mark Amend Rejection can take on many forms and in different ways. You can be rejected by the silent treatment, being responded or giving a flat out "no", the use of hurtful words, there maybe disinterest from your partner and/or absence. If there is an attitude of rejection in your marriage it is not good and the problem is that rejection does not make ...more

  • 396: HONOR YOUR WORDS

    Oct 03 2017

    "You come to love not by finding the perfect person BUT by learning to love an imperfect person perfectly." —Sam Keen Another anniversary. Maybe you're celebrating your 5th, 10th, 30th or any in between. It's a time to think about where your marriage has been and where it’s going. Your anniversary is the birthday of your marriage. The birthday of the day that you said "I do" and agreed to a number of ideals that you would live out in your marriage. On your wedding day ...more

  • 395: THAT TIME OF THE MONTH

    Sep 26 2017

    "A great marriage is made of two people who continuously put their vows ahead of their feelings." —Anonymous It's that time of the month again. Interestingly enough this seems to happen every month. First let's address a little biology. A woman's body was created to have a cycle every single month. This is not punishment for husbands or wives. This is not something for either of you to angry or frustrated about. It’s the way a woman’s body was created and it’s ...more

  • 394: TOTALLY EXHAUSTED

    Sep 19 2017

    "Survival mode is supposed to be a phase that helps save your life. It’s not meant to be how you live your life." —Michele Rosenthal Over this past weekend we embarked on move #10 in 21 years of marriage. As we prepared for this move, only 7 miles away, we still had work, meetings, kids’ stuff (lessons, games, practices), and other obligations. On top of all that we had to pack! It's during these stressful times where there may be little to no sexual intimacy, short conversa...more

  • 393: IS YOUR VIBRATOR A CRUTCH?

    Sep 12 2017

    "Don’t be afraid to give up the good to go for the great." —John D. Rockefeller Vibrators... They can be a helpful tool in your sexual intimacy tool box or it can detract you from truly connecting with your spouse. Have you every said this to yourself: It seems like I am only able to orgasm when I use a vibrator. It’s kind of our fall back. It's guaranteed. If it takes to long or I’m just tired, I’ll either reach for the vibrator or ask him to get it. We’...more

  • 392: CAN’T SEEM TO DO ANYTHING RIGHT

    Sep 05 2017

    "Why can’t my spouse see just how much I am trying." —Anonymous It doesn't matter what you say or do your spouse criticizes you. They tell you "that" is not the way it is or they will let you know you are wrong.   We’ve been there ourselves. It’s the snippy comments. The rolling of the eyes. The fear of saying or doing anything because it seems like it’s always wrong On one side of the marriage someone feels perpetually angry or disappointed and on the other ...more

  • 391: LUBE IT UP

    Aug 29 2017

    "Friction is likely to generate heat instead of progress." —George Eliot Disclaimer: We are going to be talking about lubrication (lube). Please take the time to investigate how your chosen lube works with your chosen form of birth control AND investigate the ingredients to make sure that you are keeping your body healthy from the inside out. Once in awhile we have an experience that makes us stop and think when was the last time that we discussed this topic. A few weeks ago...more

  • 390: ENOUGH DRAMA ALREADY

    Aug 22 2017

    "Don’t start drama and then say you hate drama." —Anonymous There has been a lot in the media lately about people calling each other names via social media platforms, people speaking poorly of one another on those same platforms and in general just tearing people down. It’s easy to look at celebrities or political figures and point the finger at how disrespectful they are to one another but what about how this plays out in your marriage? It can happen with you tag your spous...more

  • 389: WE CAN HANDLE IT

    Aug 15 2017

    "Relax. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are living and learning. Forgive yourself and grow from the experience." —Anonymous The last 90 days or so have not been easy on us or on our marriage. Over the course of this time many things have happened. Tony sold his other business so that he could be full time at ONE Extraordinary Marriage. Less then two months later Tony took the business back when the new owner realized it wasn’t a fit for him. About a week later Tony...more

  • 388: SHOULD AN ORGASM BE THE ULTIMATE GOAL

    Aug 08 2017

    "Once your learn to appreciate the small victories there is no need for a finish line." —Anonymous Orgasm. The big “O”. Climax. It doesn’t matter what you call it, it’s a loaded topic and one that we are going to dig into because there’s a lot behind this for both men and women. We’ve heard from husbands and wives who are frustrated when she isn’t able to orgasm. We’ve heard from wives who are frustrated that their husband asks them all the time if they had an orgasm. ...more

  • 387: WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?

    Aug 01 2017

    "I love the look you give me when you really want me." —Anonymous We now live in marriages where our eyes spend more time looking at a screen then looking at one another. What we are looking at is having a huge impact on the connection in our marriages. If your eyes are always on a screen, always looking down, always engaged with something else then you are placing more value on the images on the screen than you do with the person you share a bed with. When you get to a p...more

  • 386: RULES FOR A BETTER MARRIAGE

    Jul 25 2017

    "It’s not about being the best. It’s about being better than you were yesterday." —Anonymous We have rules for how we are supposed to act at work. We have rules for how to drive our cars. There are rules for how we are supposed to act at sporting events. (We recently completed this for our son’s high school). We have rules for so many things and then it comes to your marriage. There are no rules. Most of the time you just wing it and hope for the best. You and...more

  • 385: WHAT DO YOU WANT IN THE BEDROOM?

    Jul 18 2017

    "We all need people who will give us feedback. That’s how we improve." —Bill Gates There are times when you and your spouse don't always know what is working when it comes to your sexual intimacy. Thoughts like these may even go through your head? Does this touch work for her? Will he want my hand here? Is she wanting more of this or less of this? Am I even in the right area? I know this worked last time but is it working this time for him? Wives you sometim...more

  • 384: BEING SENSUAL

    Jul 11 2017

    "Being sensual in your marriage doesn’t end on the honeymoon, your marriage needs all 5 senses working throughout." —Anonymous Sensuality is one of those words that can be vague for many couples. For the purpose of this show we are going to define sensual as being in the moment with all of your senses. Now... We will honestly say that we are not always “in the moment” with one another. In fact we have permission in our marriage to call each other out when we are not. T...more

  • 383: CANCER CAN’T STOP THE ADVICE FROM A FATHER

    Jul 04 2017

    "Son, don’t cheat. I’ve had plenty of opportunities over the years but it’s like this...why would I go out for a hamburger when I have a steak at home." —Carmen DiLorenzo Recently we had the privilege to be with Tony’s dad as he took his final breath here on earth. As his time was coming to an end he had plenty of advice about marriage and love. Words that we need to hear and understand to fully grasp the significance that they carry for each of us. In 1972 their marriage...more

  • 382: FOREPLAY FUN

    Jun 27 2017

    "Go down a water-slide without any water and you will understand why foreplay is important." —Anonymous Sex is a topic that has been discussed many of times from scheduling sex to different positions to ways to initiate and more. Recently it came to our attention that we probably haven’t spent nearly as much time talking about foreplay. First and foremost what is foreplay? Foreplay is sexual activity before intercourse. We love the wide open nature of this definition ...more

  • 381: SUMMER FUN

    Jun 20 2017

    "Remember the tans will fade but the memories will last forever." —Anonymous It’s officially summer, which means vacation schedules, trying to have sex when the kids are home, traveling, getting together with friends and in a lot of cases marriages taking a back seat to everything else. Especially your romantic dates together. How does this happen? With all of the other fun things going on it can be easy to say "yes" to so many things that you find yourself saying "no" t...more

  • 380: THE ULTIMATE MARATHON

    Jun 13 2017

    "Your marriage vows say for as long as life shall last NOT until you get tired or you don’t want to anymore." —Anonymous We’ve all seen images of marathoners running mile after mile, people dropping out, cramps, fatigue, or “hitting the wall”. The well trained individual, the elite athlete, and those who have committed to the process make it the full distance, they are the ones who finish the 26.2 miles.  On the flip side you have the sprinters, they go hard, really hard fo...more

  • 379: WHEN HE CAN’T ORGASM

    Jun 06 2017

    "You are not just waiting in vain. There is a purpose behind every delay." —Mandy Hale A delay in orgasm or the inability to orgasm has an impact on both a husband and a wife. When you find yourself in this place it can cause anxiety and many questions. What am I doing? What’s wrong with me? Why isn’t this working? What do I need to do? The questions can sometimes be your biggest challenge. It's amazing what happens to your mind when your imaginations start to ...more

  • 378: LET’S HAVE MIND-BLOWING SEX

    May 30 2017

    "Your life does not get better by chance it gets better by change." —Jim Rohn There are all kinds of assumptions about sex in marriage. For so many there’s this notion that sex on the honeymoon is as good as it's going to get. Then once you have kids, you’ll never have sex again or it will only be a quickie when you can “squeeze it in”. And finally there’s the idea that after awhile sex just kind of fades out of the picture for companionship. There is nothing that says...more

  • 377: I’M OFFENDED

    May 23 2017

    "If you take everything personally, you will remain offended for the rest of your life. What other people do is because of them, not you." —Vivian Benson The world you live in delivers offense on a daily basis. It comes from those in your community, on social media, the radio, television shows and just about everywhere. And yet when this offense comes from your spouse it’s much more painful. The one person that is supposed to know and care for you more than any other, has...more

  • 376: THOSE PARENTING BEHAVIORS

    May 16 2017

    "Each generation will reap what the former generation has sown." —Chinese Proverb What you observed in your parents marriage growing up has an impact on how you show up in your marriage. As a child you watched your parents and other marriages around you and begin to internalize how you will or will not do marriage when you grow up. You make vows such as... “I’ll never be like my mother or my father.” "I’m never going to do that in my marriage." And then it happens...more

  • 375: WHEN TRANSITIONS HAPPEN

    May 09 2017

    "Honor the space between no longer and not yet." —Nancy Levin When you are married, transitions don’t only affect you, they also affect your spouse. Transitions can impact the different intimacies in your marriage. Marriage is full of transitions: First house First baby Moves Job changes Job losses Taking care of kids Taking care of your parents One income Two incomes Kids becoming adults And the list goes on You can seemingly be going a...more

  • 374: YOU’VE LOST THOSE LOVING FEELINGS

    May 02 2017

    "Never stop showing someone how much they mean to you." Over time you have lost the anticipation and excitement of your relationship. Your marriage has become something you have to tolerate, something you have to survive or make it through. For some it's like the song from the Righteous Brother’s “You’ve Lost That Loving Feeling”. You may have lost that loving feeling and you're wondering on what to do next. Do you remember when the two of you were courting one anothe...more

  • 373: ARE YOU UP FOR A SEX CHALLENGE

    Apr 25 2017

    "Never be afraid to try something new BECAUSE life gets boring when you stay within the limits of what you already know." The first sex challenge we completed happened 9 years ago in the fall of 2008. We had been married 11 years and these years were not the best years. Two kids ages 2 and 5 years old had taken up much of our times We lived as roommates with little to no intimacy. It was at this time that we decided to take on the 60 Days of Sex Challenge. A bit cra...more

  • 372: STOP THE NAGGING

    Apr 18 2017

    "She's not nagging. She's trying to tell you something. The only reason she's being persistent is because she cares. When she stops nagging, you should be worried because at that point she no longer cares." Nagging usually doesn’t start out as a problem in marriage. As time goes on though you begin to share things with your spouse that are bothering you. You don't see any change in behavior so you repeat yourself, over and over again. Then you get demanding. Sometimes ...more

  • 371: YOU CAN BE A SPONTANEOUS LOVER

    Apr 11 2017

    "Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion. You must set yourself on fire." —Arnold Glasgow For the most part your day-to-day activities are ruled by your calendars, by schedules, and by alerts popping up on your phone. It doesn’t matter how you stay organized, the fact is that you have ways to keep your time organized and keep you moving to the next thing. And then... It comes to your sex life. You desire spontaneity and yet your life is ruled by schedules. Or...more

  • 370: CHANGE STARTS WITH ME

    Apr 04 2017

    "Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness rather it is a sign of strength. It takes courage to let others into your world." —Anonymous As a couple you may be stuck. You may be stuck in the same routines. Maybe you're stuck in the same fights. Or you've noticed that your marriage is stuck in the same cycles. It’s as if every day is groundhog day. You wake up and the same day is repeated over and over again. This repetition in your marriage leads to feelings of bore...more

  • 369: MEN NEED FRIENDS

    Mar 28 2017

    "Men who trust other men will make fewer mistakes than he who distrusts them." —Camillo de Cavour When you think about your friendships as a kid and as an adult a few things stand out and the research is supporting this. During childhood both boys and girls have friends and often make deep friendships. From roughhousing on the playground to building with Legos, from competing on the sports field to running to winning the debate, there is a connection that boys have that as c...more

  • 368: LAST LONGER IN BED

    Mar 21 2017

    "We don’t grow when things are easy, we grow when we face challenges." —Anonymous You want to last longer and yet most of the time you ejaculate quicker than you'd like. When you orgasm within 1-3 minutes of penetration this is general considered premature ejaculation. 20-30% of men (and their partners) are impacted by what is considered the most common type of male sexual dysfunction. Here’s the thing... you are not alone. 60% of US men feel that this is embarrassi...more

  • 367: I CAN’T TALK ABOUT SEX

    Mar 14 2017

    "When you can’t talk about your sex life there’s a connection that the two of you are missing out on." —Anonymous The world that you live in is hypersexualized and yet couples struggle with talking about their sex life with each other. How-to talk about sex is everywhere... it's on TV, on magazine covers, right here on the internet, with your friends but, when couples are asked if they are talking about sex the answer more often than not is "no". As a spouse in a committed r...more

  • 366: LET’S GO TO BED

    Mar 07 2017

    "The moment when he rolls over, puts his arm around me and pulls me closer, in his sleep. I like that." —Country Thang Many marriages are suffering from some lack of connection. Often it’s due to our busy schedules and the commitments that keep us running around like crazy. Maybe it’s the kids or your parents who have you running around. Work, volunteering and keeping the house inside and out add a lot to your plate. Then the end of the day comes and all you want t...more

  • 365: I HAVE A HEADACHE… LET’S HAVE SEX

    Feb 28 2017

    "Sex solves most problems including headaches." —Anonymous You have a crazy headache, while on vacation, with plans to have sex, on the only night you have away from your kids. You take a nice nap to see if that would take care of it and it didn’t. You still have a headache. You're still in the hotel room you booked. And... you still have a spouse with the expectation that this is your opportunity for sex. What if having sex during this time will help your headach...more

  • 364: VACATION EXPECTATIONS

    Feb 21 2017

    "In life it’s not where you go, it’s who you travel with.” —Charlie Schultz There are times when your vacations don’t always go as planned. You have your expectations for everything. From how relaxing it’s going to be to how often the two of you are going to have sex. You think about the adventures you are going to go on, the shows you will see, the relaxing you are going to do and the money you will spend during your trip. And then, you have instances like we have had o...more

  • 363: HEATING UP YOUR BEDROOM

    Feb 14 2017

    "Let’s cuddle so that I can steal your body heat.” —Anonymous There are different reasons and times of the year when your bedroom is cold. It could be winter time, the air conditioning is on to beat the summer heat or your bedroom is in a cool part of your home. On the other hand one of you may run colder than the other. (We live this in our marriage.) When you are cold it makes heating things up in the bedroom a challenge. Let's face it... It’s tough to be naked w...more

  • 362: ON YOUR KNEES

    Feb 07 2017

    "Intimacy is not purely physical. It’s the act of connecting with someone so deeply, you feel like you can see into their soul.” —Anonymous Spiritual intimacy has a huge impact on you and your marriage. And yet it’s the one intimacy that often gets overlooked or minimized even though it’s just as important if not more so than the others. In our marriage there have been seasons when we are clicking in our spiritual intimacy and times when we experience a dryness. The same...more

  • 361: MONEY MATTERS

    Jan 31 2017

    "Money is an opportunity to reach unity in marriage. When couples work together they can do anything." —Dave Ramsey You have probably heard the quote, "You should never talk about money, politics or religion." Now, this might be true if you are at a dinner party and yet... You are taking this stance when it comes to money in your marriage. There is no connection, discussion, or even a conversation about your money. If you are honest with yourselves there is no plan for...more

  • 360: TOUCH ME

    Jan 24 2017

    "So many people hear the words physical intimacy and think about sex. There are so many layers to being physically intimate with your spouse, choosing just one aspect shortchanges both of you." —Anonymous Touch is so important and yet touch in any form may be absent or inconsequential in your marriage at this time. This absence of touch or in the quality of the touch, leads to a feeling of being unwanted, unseen, undesired. It’s interesting that touch is often one of the fi...more

  • 359: WHAT DO WE DO TOGETHER

    Jan 17 2017

    "You define what is important to you by who you spend your time with." —Anonymous When you were dating there was no shortage of things to do or ways that you wanted to spend your time together. No matter where you were or what time of day it was you got creative. You would pick up on the smallest comments and run with it, turning that comment into an incredible adventure you would do together. And then... You begin living together, jobs, bills, volunteering and kids ta...more

  • 358: THE POWER OF AN APOLOGY

    Jan 10 2017

    "When you forgive, you in no way change the past but you sure do change the future." —Bernard Meltzer The year started off with us discussing the importance of emotional intimacy in your marriage. This is how the two of you communicate and is the foundation for growth in the other five intimacies. How the two of you connect during both the good and tough times will make the difference. After last week's show we dealt with a tough time ourselves. There was a breakdown i...more

  • 357: HONEST, OPEN AND TWO WAY LISTENING

    Jan 03 2017

    "Communication must be HOT...Honest, Open and Two Way." —Dan Oswald Do the two of you have time each week when you can connect with your thoughts and feelings?  We spent many years of our marriage, probably the first ten years with little to no emotional intimacy. We could talk about anything while we were dating and then after the ring and the wedding... crickets. It was easier to avoid confrontation. It was easier to stuff things inside. Why share your feeling to ...more

  • 356: GOING NEXT LEVEL

    Dec 27 2016

    "Think as BIG as you possibly can and base what you do, how you do it and who you do it with on succeeding at that level." —Gary Keller & Jay Papasan If the two of you don’t have a vision for 2017, it’s going to look a lot like 2016. As you look ahead you need to know what areas of your marriage you want to focus on? These areas include: Financial intimacy Physical intimacy Spiritual intimacy Recreational intimacy Emotional intimacy What would it take to ...more

  • 355: TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

    Dec 20 2016

    "Traditions remind us to stop the busy cycle of life long enough to reconnect and build bonds." —Sabrina Beasley McDonald It’s important for the two of you to have your own night before Christmas or Christmas Day traditions. Something that you do together, a gift or an adventure that is about you as a couple. This is about the two of you as your own separate entity, separate from the kids and from your extended families. It’s that reminder that you and your spouse are a team...more

  • 354: AWAKE SEX

    Dec 13 2016

    "Right NOW is the most important moment in your life." —Gail Lynne Goodwin Another day comes to an end and you and your spouse are tired. Earlier in the day you both were romancing each other and had every intention to enjoy one another. But it's another night of you falling asleep even before you start foreplay and leaving you both frustrated with your sexual intimacy. There is much on your plates and yet it's time to prioritize your marriage so that you both enjoy your...more

  • 353: I’M FINE

    Dec 06 2016

    "Sometimes all you do is smile. Move on with your day, hold back the tears and pretend everything is OK." —Anonymous The holiday season is a busy time of year. You are are pulled in many directions and feel overwhelmed with the responsibilities of job, family, kids, volunteering, Christmas parties, and everything else that is on your plate. It's a time when you may feel like there is too much going on and you’re holding on by a thread. And then your spouse asks you someth...more

  • 352: PERSONAL HYGIENE FOR A GREAT SEX LIFE

    Nov 29 2016

    "What do brushing your teeth, taking a shower and making time to shave all have in common? They all improve your chances in the bedroom." —Alisa DiLorenzo Interestingly enough we have never tackled the topic of personal hygiene, even though it’s something that we frequently discuss in our marriage. Things like morning breath, unshaven legs, and manscaping is what we're talking about. When you are aware of what works for you and for your spouse it makes a difference in your s...more

  • 351: ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE

    Nov 22 2016

    "Showing gratitude is one of the most simplest yet most powerful things that human beings can do for each other." —Randy Pausch Thanksgiving. It's a time dedicated to giving thanks and expressing gratitude to those you love. The act of expressing gratitude is important for your spouse who receives your gratitude as well as for you who is giving it. When you do this for and with each other it changes your perspective on your marriage. When you express your appreciation for...more

  • 350: YOUR SEXY UNDERWEAR MATTERS

    Nov 15 2016

    "If her bra matches her panties when you take off her clothes, it wasn’t you who decided to have sex." —Anonymous When you are wearing sexy underwear it has a way of bringing you and your spouse together in a special way. A loose definition of sexy underwear is: underwear that has fun colors or patterns that hug you in all of the right places because they fit. Many folks dismiss the importance of underwear, seeing them as merely a functional piece of clothing and yet they ha...more

  • 349: LIES BECOME A CANCER

    Nov 08 2016

    "Once you lie to me the first time, I’ll question everything else you say." —Anonymous When you lie to your spouse it's a cancer that multiplies over time. The lie starts off small and then grows with one lie after another. Eventually you have something so large and unrecognizable that the pain you are experiencing has to go. We are experiencing an epidemic in marriages, an epidemic of lying and it’s wreaking havoc on relationships. Lies can come in different forms s...more

  • 348: YOU’RE SNORING TOO LOUD

    Nov 01 2016

    "Snoring is a good indication that one person is asleep and no one else is." —Linda Poindexter It's been another long day as you prepare yourself for a good night sleep. You slide into bed, turn on your Sound+Sleep Machine as you enjoy a quiet house. Your eyelids begin to close and you are just about to fall asleep when… The snoring starts. Oh no! Another night of sleep is going to be a challenge. AGAIN. Marriages are struggling when one or both spouse's are sno...more

  • 347: SOMEONE’S KNOCKING ON THE DOOR

    Oct 25 2016

    "Circumstances may cause interruptions and delays but never lose sight of your goal." —Mario Andretti Has there ever been a time in your marriage when you and your spouse were about to enjoy sex and then you hear a knocking at your door? Maybe you can relate to this scenario… All of the kids are in bed (or so you think) The house is quiet You’re locked in your room Your Sound+Sleep Machine is on as you begin to make romantic eyes at one another You start forepl...more

  • 346: UNMET EXPECTATIONS

    Oct 18 2016

    "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that is has taken place." —George Bernard Shaw When you have certain expectations, your spouse has expectations and yet neither of you communicate them to each other there will be unmet expectations. Each of you will have a level of frustration that you are experiencing. You may even be say things like: I don’t understand why he/she doesn’t know this by now. Isn’t the way we do __________ obvious? Why do...more

  • 345: LACK OF SEXUAL DESIRE

    Oct 11 2016

    "Desire creates havoc between two people when it is the ONLY thing between them or when it’s what’s missing." —Mignon McLaughlin Have you ever experienced: Lack of sexual desire Low libido No libido A take it or leave it attitude No expression of desire No sexual connection. A sexual connection with your spouse is a primary need. Unfortunately, a lack of sexual desire is impacting your marriage and the reasons for it are varied. It could be from: Stress...more

  • 344: CELEBRATION TIME (WEDDING ANNIVERSARY STYLE)

    Oct 04 2016

    "A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year." —Anonymous When this show is first released on October 4, 2016, we will be 24 hours away from celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary. As with any milestone, we approached this anniversary with celebration. It also became a time to reflect on where we have been and where we are going. While 20 years married is a significant anniversary, it’s n...more

  • 343: WHAT YOU DON’T KNOW IN THE BEDROOM CAN HURT YOU AND YOUR MARRIAGE

    Sep 27 2016

    "Knowing is not enough we must apply. Willing is not enough we must do." —J W Von Goethe When you don’t know what works in the bedroom (or what doesn’t) you may be paralyzed wondering... Does my spouse like this? Is this position OK? Are they initiating? Is this a good time? Think about this for a minute. If you don’t know what your spouse likes, it’s hard to be fully present in the act of making love. If you don’t know how your spouse initiates or if they are ...more

  • 342: WHY KNOWING HER MENSTRUAL CYCLE IS IMPORTANT TO YOUR SEX LIFE

    Sep 20 2016

    "In all things there is a law of cycles." —Tacitus (Roman Historian) It is absolutely critical that you understand the female menstrual cycle for your sex life and for your marriage. A woman’s body is absolutely amazing and it’s hard wired to ebb and flow as the hormones fluctuate each and every month. As a woman’s hormones change during the menstrual cycle so does her husband’s responsiveness to her. Pretty cool. Here's the thing though... You need to know what's ...more

  • 341: STOP THOSE OLD, COMFORTABLE AND INEFFECTIVE PATTERNS

    Sep 13 2016

    "Marriage doesn’t have the power to bind-only the actions of two people can do that. Forever and happy endings aren’t a given." —Leah Mercer You can make changes to your marriage no matter how long you've been married. For us it was at the 11 year make that we got radical when we started and completed the 60 Days of Sex Challenge. What you'll began to realize is that it’s never too late to stop the ineffective patters and behaviors. Here's the thing though... ...you'll...more

  • 340: 5 STIMULATING SENSES

    Sep 06 2016

    "When you start using senses you’ve neglected, your reward is to see the world [and your marriage] with completely fresh eyes." —Barbara Sher Your marriages may be experiencing some struggles due to the fact that you are loving each other with only one or two of the 5 senses you have. You may have fallen into what’s comfortable for you in your marriage and not necessarily what’s best for your marriages. Using each of your 5 senses can bring a heightened experience to your m...more

  • 339: SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

    Aug 30 2016

    "Never judge someone on their past because they are no longer in that stage of life." —Alisa DiLorenzo Sex before marriage can be a roadblock to deep sexual intimacy. If you had sex before marriage you may have feelings of guilt, shame, and resentment. On the other side your spouse may have had sex before marriage with other partners and now you question the level of their commitment, you compare yourself to theses previous partners or you grew up knowing you should not ha...more

  • 338: BEAUTIFUL WIFE

    Aug 23 2016

    You've been sharing with your wife that she is beautiful to you inside and out. You see her as this amazing, incredible gift from God. A gift that honestly you cannot wait to unwrap. You want her to realize that it's not a sin to acknowledge her own beauty and sensuality without feeling dirty and yet your wife doesn't see herself as beautiful. Your wife doesn't feel the same way about herself as you see her. There is a struggle you both face with reconciling the expectati...more

  • 337: FUN AND GAMES TO BREAK THE SEXUAL ROUTINE

    Aug 16 2016

    "I want a boring sex life, said no one ever." —Alisa DiLorenzo What would happen to your marriage if you broke the sexual routine you've been in and brought back some fun into your bedroom? Many couples are experiencing a sex life that has become one more thing on the to-do list. Same sexual routine time and time again that leads both you and your spouse to wondering why you even have sex. Your sexual intimacy is the same way, at the same time and in the same position time a...more

  • 336: YOUR SPOUSE ISN’T THE PROBLEM

    Aug 09 2016

    It’s not your husband or your wife that’s the problem. The problem is the problem. Do you remember the part in your vows where it was spoken that the “two become one”?  That piece is talking about the two of you. The two of, now marriage, have became one. Newsflash: You are on the same team in your marriage and you need to start looking at life like you are on the same team not as rivals. You need to clearly identify your challenges / problems and know that these are n...more

  • 335: SHE’S NOT YOUR MOTHER

    Aug 02 2016

    Your wife does not want to be your mother! She is and desires to be your wife and your lover. Unfortunately, more often than not she is treat as your mother. She's the person in the house who picks up after you, makes sure your laundry is done for when you need it, and treated the same way you treated your mother when you were growing up. Here's the thing... She does not want to be your mothers. She doesn't want to consider you as another child in the house and yet ...more

  • 334: THE EMASCULATED MAN

    Jul 26 2016

    Is there an emasculated man living in your home? For the purpose of this show emasculated means: Make a person weaker or less effective Deprive a man of his role or identity Wives, you have the opportunity to not have an emasculated man in your marriage by the thoughts and action you have toward your husband.  Husband's are being emasculated every day in their marriage, even ours has experienced this, and it happens in little ways. It’s not giving his suggestion...more

  • 333: REDEFINING THE INTIMACY LIFESTYLE

    Jul 19 2016

    The Intimacy Lifestyle was introduced to the ONE Family as a way for you and your spouse to not have to wonder if you were going to have sex or not. Unfortunately, over the years we have heard from couples who have started to only get derailed for one reason or another. Some of these reasons are... "We agreed to The Intimacy Lifestyle but it seems like I am always having to remind my spouse". "My spouse said that they were on board but it doesn’t really seem like they a...more

  • 332: RELEASING RESENTMENT

    Jul 12 2016

    Resentment is a poison that builds slowly as it snowballs into extreme disconnect. What starts out as one disappointment becomes a laundry list of all of the ways that your spouse has hurt you, disappointed you, not been there for you, etc. The resentment that you harbor toward your partner can be masked as: Anger Boredom Indifference Withdrawal Disconnect What started out as something manageable now has become overwhelming for you and your partner. Right...more

  • 331: HAVING SEX OR MAKING LOVE

    Jul 05 2016

    Married couples perform both sex and making love. Would you agree? Sometimes it is intentional and sometimes it's because of circumstances. Sex happens when you only have 10 minutes before dinner for a quickie. You only have 10 minutes so it’s not going to be a marathon love making session. But if you are on vacation by yourselves with no kids now there’s no need to just have sex. You plan on making love while away. Making love is probably the easier one of these to ...more

  • 330: DETOURS TO SUCCESS

    Jun 28 2016

    Last week we returned from our 20th anniversary trip to Peru. Our travels took us from San Diego to Lima, Peru, Cusco and then on to Machu Picchu.  The international trip involved two red eye flights through Dallas on the way there and then Miami on our way home. Once in country... 2 flights from Lima to Cusco and back. 5 van rides from various points of our travel 4 tour buses including one that was hugging the switchbacks up and back from Machu Picchu 2 train...more

  • 329: RISK REWARD

    Jun 21 2016

    What's the risk reward in your marriage? There's a risk in any relationship between two people. You risk being vulnerable. You risk being rejected. You risk being misunderstood. You risk hurt feelings. You risk anger. You risk silence. You risk the distance growing in your marriage. You risk losing your marriage. In many marriage the idea of risk reward is a recurring theme. Here's the thing about risk reward... IT'S ALL ABOUT FEAR! Fear will ...more

  • 328: THE INTIMACY LIFESTYLE

    Jun 14 2016

    What would your marriage look like if you and your spouse were having sex on a consistent basis? Maybe for the two of you it would be one, two or even 4 times a week and yet your not quite sure how to make this happen. For this to happen it takes planning and a clear understanding of how it will benefit your marriage. It doesn't just happen. You will need to be intentional as you invest your time and efforts into your marriage. It’s time to get radical in your marriage an...more

  • 327: I WANT OUT

    Jun 07 2016

    The truth is that every couple goes through cycles of good times and tough times. The bigger issue is when those cycles last indefinitely and no one takes action. I want out. I don’t want to do this anymore. It’s too hard. You may have said these to your spouse or vise versa. Either way it's time to shift the tide in your marriage before it is to late. According to couples therapist, Carrie Cole: The average couple waits six years from the time they recognize relation...more

  • 326: SUMMERTIME SEX

    May 31 2016

    It’s summertime and like a lot of things your sexual intimacy can take a back seat to vacations, family visitors and even the kids being home. Make sure you have a plan for summertime sex this year and for years to come. The areas that you need to be aware of when it comes to summertime sex are: Setting expectations BEFORE you travel on vacation. When family or friends are in town how do you make sure you're being sexually intimate. Kids are home for the summer and t...more

  • 325: TEMPORARY WEDDING VOWS

    May 24 2016

    Do either of these sound familiar… "I, ____, take you, ____, to be my lawfully wedded(husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." OR "Will you have this woman/man to be your wife/husband, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love her/him, comfort her/him, honor, and keep her/him in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, be faithful to her...more

  • 324: THE KEY TO YOUR HAPPINESS

    May 17 2016

    "Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present." —Jim Rohn Have you ever said: My husband doesn’t make me happy anymore My wife doesn’t make me happy anymore I’m not happy in marriage This isn’t making me happy Don’t I deserve to be happy Where is my happiness Why can’t I be happy There is an epidemic... An epidemic of people who aren’t happy in their life, with their job and in their marriages. ...more

  • 323: SEX IS NOT ALWAYS THE ANSWER

    May 10 2016

    Day after day we hear from couple after couple that their marriage is not what they wanted or expected. There is no romance. The sex is OK, at times. There is a struggle with communication. There are many disconnects. Digging deeper into each relationship, sex has been a part of most of these relationships from the very beginning. Before these couples truly knew each other, they were involved in one of the most intimate acts a couple can face, sex. As a couple wh...more

  • 322: IT’S TIME TO INITIATE

    May 03 2016

    Knowing how to initiate sex in your marriage can be a very real challenge. You're not sure what to do or when you do if your spouse even realizes that you're initiating. On the other side of this is a frustrated who doesn't understand why you can’t or decide not to initiate. For them it’s similar to living in a constant state of rejection. Think about it. If you rarely initiate then it is always up to your spouse to make a move. If you're not interested, too tired, not in the mood...more

  • 321: RENEWING YOUR MARRIAGE LICENSE

    Apr 26 2016

    To get married you had to have a marriage licence. Here's the thing though... This is the only license that you are never required to renew. You are not required to go to class, spend time and money, or become more informed to grow. On the other hand you have to renew your driver’s license, retake the written test and sometimes take the driving test. There are many professions that require continuing education: the legal field, auto technicians, financial services, the medical...more

  • 320: CHANGE OF SCENERY

    Apr 19 2016

    When you move into a new house there are... New bedrooms, living areas, bathrooms and other place to explore to enjoy sex. And yet, you may find yourself night after night in the same spot. Your bedroom! What do you do as doing the same thing over and over again, in the exact same way is become to routine. And... Routines leads to boredom and boredom leads to disconnect. When anticipation and excitement stops being a part of your marriage in any area the drift starts t...more

  • 319: ESP (EXTRASENSORY PERCEPTION)

    Apr 12 2016

    Having ESP (extrasensory perception) is something that many couples wish they had. The thing is that you don't and neither does your spouse. At times you may ask yourself... Why doesn’t he/she know that? How many times should I have to tell him/her? He/she should know that by know. The truth is that your spouse doesn't have ESP and cannot read your mind. And yet you have been asking yourself, "What’s wrong with expecting my spouse to know what I want? What I need?...more

  • 318: YOUR MARRIAGE NEEDS YOU TO GROW UP

    Apr 05 2016

    Unless you are a teenager it’s time to grow up in your marriage. When you partake in behaviors that are typical of a teenager you are chipping away at the foundation of your marriage. A marriage that does not have transparency in all areas is a marriage with secrets. Those secrets will destroy the best of marriages. Not allowing YOUR spouse to see the real you can allow for questioning the true nature of your relationship. You may ask... "Does my spouse love me or do they ju...more

  • 317: TEXTING IS NOT TALKING

    Mar 29 2016

    When a “big” or  “important” conversation is being dealt with via texting it is causing more heartache and less connection for married couples around the world. Avoiding the face to face conversation may seem easier and yet, the end result is that more often then not you are more disconnected. You're questioning your spouse more. You're more frustrated. You're not able to get the context or nuance of what is being said. Time Magazine reported in October 2013  a study ...more

  • 316: NO KIDS ALLOWED

    Mar 22 2016

    Kids are amazing from those cute little baby faces to the amazing young adults they become. However, when the kids become more important than your marriage that’s when problems arise. Some of these may be: The kids are still sleeping with you. Everything revolves around the kids activities (to the point that the two of you can’t remember the last time you went out and it was just the two of you). You find yourself drifting apart and using the kids as your buffer zone, your ...more

  • 315: CLEANING UP AFTER SEX

    Mar 15 2016

    Have you ever noticed that in movies you never see couples cleaning up after sex? Usually this romantic moment has no clean up afterwards. The couple cuddles together as they basks in the afterglow of an amazing sexual moment together. Seems odd... As long as we have been making love, cleaning up after sex has always been a part of the our sexual intimacy. Throughout your marriage cleaning up after sex can be impacted by your current form of birth control, are you try...more

  • 314: STOP HOPING, START DOING

    Mar 08 2016

    Lack of action, apathy, laziness are marriage killers.  In this life you have two options, you are either growing or you’re not. When you wish or hope for change without doing what you need to be doing that’s not growth. That’s being outwardly focused. That’s expecting others to do the changing why you sit back and wait. We've both done this in our marriage over the years. At some point in time you've been frustrated with your marriage. Be it emotionally, financially, sexua...more

  • 313: PACK THE BOXES, IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON

    Mar 01 2016

    Moving is truly one of those events that literally turns everything upside down. You go from being settled and knowing all of your routines to have everything boxed up (both before and after the move) and everything is different. This includes how the two of you act with one another as you prep, box your things, move in day, and afterwards. When it's time to move on for us we sort our things into 3 piles. Donate Get Rid Of (Trash) Take With You Let's look at y...more

  • 312: WHAT YOUR HUSBAND IS THINKING BEFORE AND DURING SEX

    Feb 23 2016

    Have you ever wondered what your husband is thinking before and during sex? It may have crossed your mind from time to time or it's something you haven't even considered. Here's the thing though... Just like you and all you have going on he has thoughts that can hinder him from being fully present with you. We learned this first had as we were in the middle of completing our 8th 7 Days of Sex Challenge. By far one of the toughest we have done. One of the nights we bega...more

  • 311: JEALOUSY (THE GREEN EYED MONSTER)

    Feb 16 2016

    Jealousy is destructive to both the one who is being jealous and the one who is receiving it. After 19 years of marriage we've experienced jealousy at different times and over different things. Jealousy  can take the form of: interrogations about where someone has been, what they have been doing or who they were with searching through your spouse's phone or through a computer questioning any time that your spouse happens to look at a member of the opposite sex riflin...more

  • 310: VALENTINE’S DAY, MAKE IT MORE THAN JUST ONE DAY

    Feb 09 2016

    Do you remember your first Valentine’s Day together? I do, I was living in the Delta Gamma house at DePauw University and Tony was at the University of Colorado at Boulder. I had sent him a poem I had written and waited all day for my “Valentine”. I couldn’t wait to see what would come. Would Tony surprise me by showing up? Would he come with a ring and a proposal (I can’t even believe I thought that after only 6 months of dating he would, but hey I was dreaming.) Woul...more

  • 309: SEX IS NOT A DUTY IT’S A GIFT

    Feb 02 2016

    Sex is one of the biggest perks of being married and yet so often, relegated to an obligation instead of being the gift it truly should be. Have you ever said (or at least thought) any of the following in regard to sex in your marriage. It’s one more thing I have to do I’m so tired Don’t you ever get enough What about MY needs I could take it or leave it How does sex with your spouse get to this point? There is an anticipation to be sexually intimate at time...more

  • 308: TWO BECOME ONE

    Jan 26 2016

    Two become one. You may have heard this when you stood before your pastor as you were about to say "I Do". Since you got married though you feel that the two of you are not united in your marriage. This is showing up in areas ranging from: handling finances dealing with family what’s going on with the kids your sex life having a conversation creating a safe environment, free of judgment or harsh words spending time together and the list goes on You did...more

  • 307: STRENGTH TRAINING YOUR MARRIAGE MUSCLES

    Jan 19 2016

    Strength training your marriage isn't just about you as an individual. It's about strength training your marriage so that you and your spouse create a healthy, vibrant and growing marriage. The first 11 years of our marriage. we didn’t do much strength training in our marriage. We read a few devotionals, we had done a few small groups at church for married couples, occasionally we went out on date night or got a weekend by ourselves but that was about it. The foundation of ...more

  • 306: A GOOD HUSBAND ISN’T SO HARD TO FIND

    Jan 12 2016

    Husbands get a bum rap in media, books, movies, tv--out of touch, unfeeling, sexed up, jerks. And yet your husband your husband is a good husband. You may look at yourself and even say that you are a good husband and one that doesn't even compare to how the media portrays you. Your're a husband who does dishes, change diapers, makes dinner and much more. A Husband who rubs your wife's feet, starts a bath plus you join in and sends love letters to your wife throughout the year. ...more

  • 305: TWICE IN ONE DAY (MAKING LOVE THAT IS)

    Jan 05 2016

    Making love to your spouse is one of the most intimate times you two have together. It's a time when everything else falls away while you bask in each others arms. Now when you make love twice in one day that double the pleasure... Well is it? It sure is because it changes things up in your marriage and your sexual intimacy. This brings on a new and fresh perspective that you may have not seen. When you are making love multiple times in a day sexual intimacy becomes a pri...more

  • 304: YOUR BEST YEAR EVER

    Dec 29 2015

    It’s that time of year when you are thinking about the New Year and what's ahead for your marriage. You've thought about what happened over this past year and what you want this next year to look like. During this time you may be taking a serious look at your marriage and how you can strengthen each of the six intimacies. Your are counting down to the New Year and wondering how you can make it your best year ever. Starting this year or a new season of your life without a pla...more

  • 303: ARE YOU BEING PRESENT?

    Dec 22 2015

    The presents are wrapped and under the tree, the stockings are hung, the cookies are baked and you’re exhausted. As a couple you find yourselves rushing through life, rushing through your marriage and missing out on being present with your spouse. Here's the thing... There will always be stuff to do in every season of your marriage. There will always be distractions in your life. In our 19 years of marriage we can attest to this. What sets your marriage apart is how y...more

  • 302: WHEN DRIFT BEGINS TO HAPPEN

    Dec 15 2015

    This time of year can be challenging for so many marriages. You are trying to hold it together for the family, for the kids, for the holidays and for yourself. Over the last weeks and months you have noticed that you and your spouse have begin to drift. You're living in survival mode, dealing with one thing after the next and yet you were designed to thrive. How did the drift begin in your marriage? For many of us we are TOO busy. There are his schedule, her schedule, the ki...more

  • 301: THOSE COMPETING VOICES

    Dec 08 2015

    What you choose to listen to does and will impact the decisions that you make. You have voices that are marriage enriching, which foster your relationship and are strong when the two of you are making time for each other, sharing your lives with each other both emotionally and physically. Then there are those voices encouraging you to be selfish. They begin to get louder when there is a disconnect in your emotional, physical, spiritual and financial intimacies. It gets harde...more

  • 300: WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD BE HERE

    Dec 01 2015

    "A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step." —Laozi In your marriage there have been joyous times when you look around and think to yourself, " I never thought I would be here" and tough times when you never thought you would be here. Either way you are here right now. What you choose to do at this time will be instrumental in where you are heading in your marriage journey. What we have enjoyed doing over our 19 years of marriage is to celebrate and remember th...more

  • 299: YOUR SEXUAL INTIMACY DURING THE HOLIDAYS

    Nov 24 2015

    Your to-do list is a mile long as the holidays and the end of the year approaches. You have meetings, parties, shopping, last minute errands, cleaning the house, end of the year reports, travel, kids out of school, and more that need to get done. There is so much to do and yet your sexual intimacy gets push aside for this "season", to another day, another week, or maybe you'll wait until next year. Yes you'll celebrate New Year’s together. Hugging, kissing and then starti...more

  • 298: TRULY THANKFUL

    Nov 17 2015

    The word thankful means, "feeling or expressing gratitude; appreciative." As a married couple you should take time each day, week, and month to share with your spouse how truly thankful you are for them. For how they have had a positive impact in your life. With the end of the year and the holidays upon you it is a perfect time to share with your spouse why you are truly thankful for them over the past year. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about expressing gratitude ...more

  • 297: DE-STRESS THE HOLIDAYS

    Nov 10 2015

    Surprise. Christmas is coming AGAIN this year, in fact it comes every year. Can you believe it? —Said with a little sarcasm. However this is often the sentiment that couples experience when the holidays roll around, every December. Here are a few things that happens during this time of year... lots of activities, parties, concerts, school programs gift exchanges holiday shopping All of these take time and money. From new outfits, a gift to share at a work gif...more

  • 296: YOUR MARRIAGE MANUAL

    Nov 03 2015

    Many items that you purchase come with a manual. Your car, your crockpot, the computer, TV, kid's toys and even your mascara has instructions. And yet you and your spouse despite all in all of their complexity do not. You marry someone who is completely unique, who has all kinds of quirks, some of which won’t even come out until you’ve been married for quite awhile. We know because after 19 years of marriage we are still learning about some of them. :) How do you figure o...more

  • 295: THE NO REJECTION ZONE

    Oct 27 2015

    Creating a no rejection zone in your marriage is vital to creating an environment where both you and your spouse trust one another. Rejection is incredibly destructive. It eats away at a person’s sense of worth, it creates doubt, it destroys the foundation of your marriage. For the first 11 years of our marriage rejection was as common as breathing air. Over the past eight years we have decided that our bedroom is a no rejection zone. In doing so there has been a shift in us...more

  • 294: YOU HAVE 168 HOURS EACH WEEK

    Oct 20 2015

    You’re busy. There is a lot going on in your life. When you’re dating or even newly married it seems like you have the ability to make the time for one another no matter what. You’ll rearrange your schedule. You’ll say no to other people or activities that would take you away from your love. And then over time... well other things start to fill up that time. The less time you spend engaged in your relationship the more disconnect there is. No matter if you have been married...more

  • 293: HOLD ON TIGHT

    Oct 13 2015

    On October 5th we celebrated our 19th wedding anniversary! For our anniversary day we choose to have a date day with a theme...we’ll share this date idea on an upcoming Periscope. Follow us there @oneextraordinary. One part of the date was to go to a local shooting range. It was one of those things that sounded like a good idea until we got there and started going over all of the safety features. There was one moment when Alisa almost said, "Nope, not gonna do it." Fear o...more

  • 292: IT’S BEEN TOO LONG SINCE WE’VE HAD SEX

    Oct 06 2015

    When you have said to yourself and/or to your spouse, "It's been too long since we've had sex", then it's time to sit down to figure out what is going on. The topic of sexless marriages is one a lot of people shy away from. Most of the time because if it is not talked about then the problem doesn't exist. Unfortunately, roughly 15% of marriage have not had sex with their spouse in the last six to twelve months, according to Denise A. Donnelly, associate professor of sociology at Ge...more

  • 291: THE MARRIED COUPLES GUIDE TO PMS

    Sep 29 2015

    Premenstrual syndrome (PMS) is not just about the emotional toll it has, but also the physical impact it has on women. There are many symptoms that can be experienced. Some of these are: feeling tired food cravings trouble with memory joint or muscle pain tension, irritability, mood swings or crying spells PMS can create feelings of disconnect during the month. Leading her to... An unwillingness to be touched. A short "fuse". Roller coaster of em...more

  • 290: GROUNDHOG DAY

    Sep 22 2015

    Routine... while is seems easy and comforting at first really and truly leads to boredom. Boredom in your marriage leads to looking for other people or things to break that sense of routine. This boredom if not address can lead to emotional affairs, to physical affairs, to erotica and pornography, to excessive spending, to countless hours lost on social media and most importantly a loss of connection with your spouse. For you this feels like Groundhog Day. The same thing is ...more

  • 289: WALK AROUND NAKED AT HOME

    Sep 15 2015

    This show came out of a conversation we had as Tony walked from the master bathroom into our bedroom... naked. It occurred to us that those couples who walk around naked are couples who are vulnerable and comfortable with each other. We realized through this conversation that walking around naked in our own marriage has taken many different forms over the years. There have been different times in our lives when we would walk around naked and other times when we would not. ...more

  • 288: DISCOVERING YOUR TRUE VALUES

    Sep 08 2015

    People are lost. Marriages are lost. Families are lost. We have become a society, that for the most part, doesn’t plan who or what we stand for. Do you know what your marriage stands for? Every couple and family has their own unique set of characteristics. Whether it's something that they have sat down and consciously decided on OR it's something that they have just "fallen" into. This is their identity. Sometimes those things that you are known for, aren't necessarily po...more

  • 287: THE IMPACT OF TONE AND TIMING

    Sep 01 2015

    When you first meet your spouse you were most likely on your best behavior at all times. You would watch out for what you would say and how you would say it. Over time, as you became more familiar with each other that “best behavior started to slide”. You got more comfortable with the fact that your future spouse would be sticking around. As time passed you took the relationship for granted and AS A RESULT you would say things however you wanted, whenever the mood strikes. ...more

  • 286: SEX IS A PART OF MARRIAGE

    Aug 25 2015

    In your marriage there are six forms of intimacy that build your foundation. Each are vital to a successful marriage, a marriage based on safety and trust. And, sexual intimacy is one of them. When your needs or those of your spouse are not being met a few things start to happen… You wonder why you are married in the first place and start thinking about getting out. You begin to get resentful and withdraw from the marriage. You don’t see the harm in look toward other...more

  • 285: WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

    Aug 18 2015

    There are a lot of distractions in the world… electronics, social media, daily tasks, other people, etc. Because of these distractions it’s easy to lose sight of the gift that you have right in front of your face. The gift of your spouse that God has given to you. You and your spouse spoke a covenant to each other to be together “as long as life shall last.” And yet time goes by and what you once did you no longer do anymore. Saying words of encouragement and complimentin...more

  • 284: COCONUT OIL, VIBRATOR AND THE GAME OF LOVE

    Aug 11 2015

    You desire to be sexually intimacy with your spouse and at the same time add some adventure and variety in your bedroom. Where do you start? What do you need? We struggled with this for years in our own marriage. You know how it goes, you do the same things over and over and it can be tough to jump out and try something new. To be honest we tried many ways to do this and have experienced many misses along the way. We weren't going to be stopped though. We desired to ma...more

  • 283: THE HAPPINESS MYTH

    Aug 04 2015

    Everyday there are conversations going on about marriage where someone says... My spouse doesn’t make me happy. I’m not happy in this marriage. Why isn’t my happiness important? The issue many marriages face right now is that of the ME focus. It is common place that there is an expectation that everyone and everything exist for your happiness. This is especially prevalent in the marriage relationship. A shift needs to happen in you for your marriage to thrive. As...more

  • 282: LOOK UP

    Jul 28 2015

    Are you living in your own little bubble with your head down, focused only on yourself, your needs, your wants... And yet your spouse may be there wondering if you even know what’s happening to them, what’s going on at work or at home, or how a recent event has impacted them. You haven't taken time to look up recently and in doing so you've forgotten that you are in a marriage with another person. Your community is being impacted. You have stopped seeing the needs of othe...more

  • 281: CAN’T DO ANYTHING RIGHT

    Jul 21 2015

    Defeated. Worn out. Frustrated. Any of these and many more emotions can get you to a place where you have told yourself that you can't do anything right. Nope. Nothing. This is a lie and four words that will bankrupt you and your marriage. Before you say these words to yourself make sure you use the "3 P's". Pause. Pray. Proceed. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about getting past a place of disconnection especially when you say, "I can’t do anything right...more

  • 280: THESE WILL FAN THE FLAMES OF YOUR SEXUAL INTIMACY

    Jul 14 2015

    Have you lost the spark, emotional, physical, or sexual, in your marriage? Has the fire you once had burning strong is now a flicker and dimming more and more with every day that passes? If the fire isn’t as hot as you would like it’s time to fan the flames and get it going again. For a fire to burn you need to fan the flames with oxygen, heat and fuel. It's time for you to pour each of these into your marriage and if one of these is missing you will have a difficult time...more

  • 279: LIVE THIS DECADE WITH PURPOSE

    Jul 07 2015

    According to a 2014 article in The Economist, the average length of marriage in the USA is 8 years. When you factor in that many couples will wait 2-3 years after marriage to have kids you can see that there is a need to better understand the years and decade after having kids. The math from above if it plays out means that many divorces are happening midway through having kids introduced to the marriage. So... ...if this is the case then you need to be equipped and ready...more

  • 278: THE SECRET VALUE OF THE QUICKIE

    Jun 30 2015

    The quickie can be an amazing sexual experience in your marriage if you know the secret to enjoying it together. In our own marriage, our sex life can be a bit off during the summer months. Different schedules, kids are home, vacations, and just hanging out. This change in seasons can be challenging if you and your spouse don’t discuss what is happening. When expectations are kept to yourself it sets the two of you up for frustration and failure. Not something either o...more

  • 277: DRUG OF CHOICE

    Jun 23 2015

    When you find yourself spending more and more time or being more and more distracted there is something going on. Maybe society wouldn’t call it a drug of choice. Maybe you even joke about “having a little problem”. The truth is that these choices can take you away from your spouse and pull you out of your marriage. You are “busy” and there are many demands on your time and yet you have a choice. Every relationship has it’s issues and there will be times and seasons where...more

  • 276: MONEY IN THE BANK

    Jun 16 2015

    Financial stress is an intimacy killer. Plain and simple. It can keep you up at night and it keeps you worrying during the day. It’s hard to let down your guard when you are worried about paying the bills or having food on the table. The fear keeps you and your spouse from living the life, the marriage you were meant to have. Today it's time to make the decision that you are going to tell your money what to do. You are going to live an extraordinary life and it’s starts with...more

  • 275: COMMUNICATION DOESN’T END WITH FOREPLAY

    Jun 09 2015

    It starts with the sweet talk. Then it leads to both of you romancing each other all through the day. And then other times you just want a quickie. In all truth there is some form of communication going on between the two of you to get to the point that you are deciding to have sex. Foreplay starts (however short or long) and then it stops... Once you're past that point all there is between the two of you are a few moans or groans and the sigh of "is this over yet". Th...more

  • 274: IT’S TIME TO TAKE THE LEAD

    Jun 02 2015

    There may have been seasons in your marriage when neither one of you stood up to lead the family. You, your spouse and your marriage were like a boat with no rudder, just going around and around in circles trying to get somewhere but going nowhere. The definition of insanity is, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. If you aren't sure when, why or how to lead your marriage then it's time to begin learning. Your marriage needs leadership. ...more

  • 273: TIME FOR AN OIL CHANGE

    May 26 2015

    You spend time, effort and energy in maintaining your stuff and yet, you are not giving your marriage that same courtesy. Your expectations for your marriage is so much more. The problem is that you are not giving it the tools that you and your spouse need to be successful. In your life you may see the doctor once a year, go to the dentist for regular cleanings and get the oil changed on your vehicles every 3-5,000 miles. And then there’s your marriage... When was the las...more

  • 272: WALKING IN THE DOOR

    May 19 2015

    Throughout the day you are transitioning from waking up, heading to work, coming home, going to bed to doing it all over again. The heading out times always seem to be easier, except for you parents of little ones that are leaving for the first time and there is crying to no end. Walking in the door time can be a "witching hour" for you. Whether you’ve been away for a few hours, or a few months or even just locked in your office during the day. Transitioning from your work d...more

  • 271: RUNNING BELOW EMPTY

    May 12 2015

    The idea of running below empty is nothing new. What is new is how running below empty is impacting marriages. Possible even having a negative affect on you right now. When you are below empty what suffers the most is not your job or your obligations to others... ...instead what often suffers are your personal relationships. Specifically the one with your spouse. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about when you are running below empty and the impact that doing too muc...more

  • 270: A TRENCHCOAT AND HIGH HEELS

    May 05 2015

    It can be hard to step out of your comfort zone, to try something new, to be adventurous. This can be as simple as changing your hair color (Alisa went RED once), to eating at a new restaurant, to wearing new clothes, shoes, or trying a different wardrobe style, to experimenting with a new position sexually or even GASP a new way to initiate. Your mind might be racing with questions, such as: How will I be received? What will he or she think of me? Will I be able to ...more

  • 269: ABSENCE DOESN’T MAKE THE HEART GROW FONDER

    Apr 28 2015

    Distance in your marriage can be tough. This can happen in your home or it could be when you and your spouse are miles apart. This can be for work, family illness, deployment, moving to a new city, or any other reason. As much as the old saying goes, distance makes the heart grow fonder, this usually isn't the case. Distance can cause heartache, anxiety, frustration and loneliness. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about ways that you can strengthen your marriage no m...more

  • 268: WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE THIS?

    Apr 21 2015

    You've decided that it's time. It's time to change because what's been happening isn't what you want to continue doing. You've decided to make some changes. Well... ...your spouse has just noticed that something is up and is asking, "Why are you acting like this?" You know why and yet it's a bit difficult to explain to your spouse. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about what happens in your marriage dynamic when you start to work on yourself and your spouse star...more

  • 267: BE PREPARED

    Apr 14 2015

    Preparation is one of the biggest gifts that you and your spouse can give to each other and your family. And yet it’s hard to think about our own mortality. People often say that it’s the teenagers that think that they are invincible but in reality most of you think you have all the time in the world. Be prepared. When you have a document, Our Family Emergency List, you are setting yourself and your family up for a smoother transition. Not having this type of information ...more

  • 266: TAKE HOPE FROM A FANTASY TO A FORCE IN YOUR LIFE

    Apr 07 2015

    Hope is in short supply in our world. From news reports talking about all of the ugliness to televisions shows that are completed scripted to bring you down. Here at ONE Extraordinary Marriage it has been our goal to bring you hope each and every week. Sharing with you how your marriage can not only survive but thrive after challenges as well as for the long haul. Every hug is a story of hope, every picture on the love you guys wall of fame, ALMOST every review on iTunes (there are...more

  • 265: RUN THE RACE

    Mar 31 2015

    Sprinters are amazing at short bursts of energy for a short period of time. However, if your vows were anything like ours they had something like “as long as life shall last” (until death do us part, forever, etc). That is not a short period of time, that’s not until the next commercial break, or until this gets too hard. Marathoners or distance runners know that they have to pace themselves. They're in it to run the race. For them to complete it they need know that... ...more

  • 264: MARRIAGE THROUGH YOUR SPOUSE’S EYES

    Mar 24 2015

    Looking at the world, especially your marriage, from only your point of view is short sighted. By doing this... you are only taking your feelings, wants and desires into account. Over time this lack of perspective can lead to little consideration from the perspective of your spouse. What they may be going through, how the world looks to them, what they are struggling with. It's time to have some introspection time about being able to see what your marriage looks like from yo...more

  • 263: LESSONS LEARNED FROM HAVING SEX (A LOT)

    Mar 17 2015

    Having sex is a beautiful experience that you and your spouse get to enjoy together. Unfortunately, there are times when having sex goes by the way side. It's at this moment when you realize that it's time to change it up. The 7 Days of Sex Challenge is just the way to have a new experience and learn about yourself and your marriage. Here's a few things you can expect to learn during a challenge: It’s a way to put each other first, even for us there can be times where w...more

  • 262: SAVE MY MARRIAGE

    Mar 10 2015

    Your marriage isn't going the way that you expected when you said "I do" to your spouse. Actually... Your spouse has expressed that it's time for the two of you to either separate for a time or get a divorce. You need to know that you are not alone. We know this doesn't make things better and yet we get many emails each and every day from couples who are where you are. In all honesty our society, as a whole does not set you up for success. Most people come into marriage w...more

  • 261: BEFORE AND AFTER SEX

    Mar 03 2015

    The time is right and you are ready to make love to your spouse. You've been romancing each other and it's your time to initiate sex. There are certain rituals that you both may have before you make love. These may include, but not limited to... Dimmed lights Light candles or turn them on Warm the bed (turn on electric blanket) Turn up the heat Turn on the sound machine Take a shower Essential oil diffuser On the other had what you do afterwards also p...more

  • 260: WHERE ARE YOUR PRIORITIES

    Feb 24 2015

    When you first met your spouse there was this time when each of you were each others priority. You made sure that you spent time together and if something got in the way you'd reschedule that obligation. As time has past the priorities of life have now take over. Instead of making sure you and your spouse have time together it's everything else that takes priority. Is this the way you want to live your life and marriage? We don't think so because you are listening to this sh...more

  • 259: BACK TO BASICS

    Feb 17 2015

    There’s a reason that things are so good at the beginning of a relationship... Both you and your partner are putting forth effort into making the relationship work, into learning all about each other, and being on your best behavior. Then comes the ring, the wedding and life: kids, bills, obligations and the two of you... well you get relegated to the back burner. All those little things that were so important in the beginning don’t seem so important as the two of you have t...more

  • 258: THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE

    Feb 10 2015

    To tell the truth or not to tell the truth? That is something you may ask yourself when talking to your spouse. It's something that seems so minimal and yet it can have a huge impact on your marriage foundation. There are topics that are not always easy to bring up to your spouse. Topics that can make you feel uncomfortable or “fudging” things a little bit. The reality is that you aren’t “fudging” things you are destroying your foundation. When you and your spouse are able t...more

  • 257: EROTICA… MY DIRTY LITTLE SECRET

    Feb 03 2015

    the book 50 Shades of Grey has become the most successful erotica book ever to be written. It's a #1 Best Seller with over 100 million copies sold. In it's path it has left many who have read it yearning for more in their marriage. The problem is that you feel let down and unsatisfied with what you have. Erotica, the written form of pornography, impacts you as much as someone who is viewing naked pictures on the internet. The hold erotica has on you, your mind and how you view your...more

  • 256: SEX WHEN THE KIDS ARE HOME

    Jan 27 2015

    When you choose to only have sex when your kids are away or when everyone is, can be limiting in terms of when the two of you can be sexually intimacy. Giving yourself permission to have sex when the kids are home can be liberating. Your kids are not going to die if they find out that their parents have sex. In fact, they might just feel a bit more secure about their family knowing that their parents are choosing to be sexually intimate. In this week's show Tony and Alisa ta...more

  • 255: DELAYED EJACULATION

    Jan 20 2015

    Delayed ejaculation is a condition in which it takes an extended period of sexual stimulation for a man to reach sexual climax and release semen from the penis. There are times when a man will not achieve climax as well. There are three causes to why you may be experiencing delayed ejaculation during sexual intercourse. These include physical, psychological or medicinal. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about delayed ejaculation and the physical as well as the emotional...more

  • 254: PREMATURE EJACULATION

    Jan 13 2015

    Premature ejaculation occurs when a man ejaculates sooner during sexual intercourse than he or his partner would like. It's a time when you can feel embarrassed and/or lacking as a man. The ability to extend sexual pleasure is directly related to your manhood and premature ejaculation doesn't make you feel this way. The moment after this happens is a critical time between you and your spouse. What the two of you do, how you react, and where you go from here are all important as you...more

  • 253: GOOD TO GREAT

    Jan 06 2015

    There are many things competing for your time, attention and energy and yet you want to have the best marriage you can possible have. Being over committed, busy and overwhelmed is not healthy for you or your marriage. When you have too many things to do or too many things vying for your attention (no matter how good they are) you tend to place less of a priority on your relationships. They are good for the most part, but you want a great marriage! In this week's show Tony...more

  • 252: MORE THAN JUST AN ORGASM

    Dec 30 2014

    An orgasm can enhance your sexual experience for yourself and your spouse. However, an orgasm shouldn’t be the ultimate goal of every sexual encounter. The experience of being together, of sharing that time and space in your marriage bed, that is the ultimate goal of your sexual intimacy. Your sexual encounters are about bringing the two of you together in a way that is only for you two. When it’s not all about achieving an orgasm you can find yourself with mind blowing s...more

  • 251: TRUST ME

    Dec 23 2014

    Many marriages have experienced broken trust in some form or another. Everything from little white lies, financial wounds, infidelity and addiction impact the trust you have with your spouse. Hiding the truth and not owning up to your actions prevents trust from being experienced between the two of you. After many times of this happening it's difficult for your spouse to believe you when you say, "Trust me". It's natural to want to paint yourself in a pretty picture or to...more

  • 250: UNDER THE SHEETS AND NAKED

    Dec 16 2014

    When you get under the sheets and sleep naked with your spouse there are a number of benefits that both of you will experience. There are three ways you will benefit from getting under the sheets and sleeping naked. You will experience health benefits (think hormones), better sleep as well as both physical and sexual benefits. Take on the challenge of sleeping naked and experience the connection you'll have with your spouse. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about the...more

  • 249: SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE

    Dec 09 2014

    We had sex before marriage. Probably like you or someone you know. It's really between a couple and yet there seems to be someone always pointing a finger at you for doing so. You cannot change what you did prior to getting married and yet you can learn from the past to better your current situation. Having sex before marriage can impact you and your spouse or maybe it hasn't. Either way there are lessons learned. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about why sex before...more

  • 248: FOOD COMA

    Dec 02 2014

    You've been there before... whether after a large Thanksgiving meal or a meal where you ate too much and need to take a long rest after. It’s that time when the food coma sets in. That period of time when you check out and don’t do anything. When you have pushed yourself past the point of no return. Where you can’t really do anything because your resources are depleted. Food coma is one thing and yet similar to it is a marriage coma. Unlike a food coma where you knowingly...more

  • 247: THANKFUL FOR YOU

    Nov 25 2014

    Being thankful for your spouse and your marriage is something that you may or may not think about often. Each year we love to share what we are thankful for in our marriage and lives. It's a way for you to listen in, get ideas and then do this with your spouse. Really this should be done monthly and yet if not this is a great time to start. Share why you are thankful for your spouse. Grab a notepad and write down the reason. Share them face-to-face, on a note, or text one...more

  • 246: THE FIRST TIMES: SEX IN DIFFERENT SITUATIONS

    Nov 18 2014

    The different situations you will have sex for the "first times" as a married couple are important to acknowledge. The truth is that there are many firsts over the years as you may not have even recognized them. Each first is a time to connect with your spouse sexually at a new level. These times can deepen your desire for one another as you begin to fully enjoy your sexual experiences. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the "first times" you have sex in differ...more

  • 245: CREATE A FINANCIAL PEACE MARRIAGE

    Nov 11 2014

    As a married couple the way you choose to combine your finances is going to play out in your relationship. How it is combined (or not), how it is spent, how it is saved, as well as other factors impacts the two of you. Finances do not and cannot exist in a vacuum in your marriage. This is an area of your marriage where the two of you need to become one so you can experience financial peace. This is one intimacy that should not be avoided, rather it is an area that you and yo...more

  • 244: INTENTIONAL INTERRUPTION

    Nov 04 2014

    In the hustle and bustle of the holiday season it is so easy to lose sight of one another. Between holiday parties, buying gifts and making sure everything gets done you often find yourself putting your spouse at the bottom of the to-do list without even realizing that it has happened. Unfortunately, every day that goes by without connection, without investing in your relationship can make it harder on both of you to reconnect. On your wedding day when you both said, "I Do",...more

  • 243: STOP STUFFING IT DOWN

    Oct 28 2014

    When tears are withheld and emotions are stuffed down inside of you this is a recipe for disaster over time. Stuffing it down again and again lead to frustrated people. Frustrated people lead to angry conversations and than more hurt. As a society and more specifically as married couples you need to make your marriage a safe places to cry. A place where you can release your emotions to be real with our spouses. It’s time to STOP living the lie that stuffing it down is the wa...more

  • 242: LET’S TOUCH EACH OTHER

    Oct 21 2014

    There are many benefits to touch that have been studied over the years. They range from increased levels of oxytocin to lower blood pressure as well as an increase in overall connection. Physical touch that doesn't lead to sex is important. It's something that you should be doing in your marriage for your benefit and that of your spouse's. Three ways you can have non-sexual touch are when you hug, cuddle or even sleep naked with you spouse. In this week's show Tony & Alis...more

  • 241: THIS WOMAN’S HEATH (MAMMOGRAM, ULTRASOUND & STERILIZATION)

    Oct 14 2014

    Woman's health may have an impact on your marriage when the time comes for a mammogram, ultrasound or when sterilization is brought up. These are just a few of the health procedures your spouse can have. The emotional toll these may take can lead you both feeling drained and on an emotional roller coaster. Through effective communication you can get through these woman's health issues together. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about the challenges of this woman's hea...more

  • 240: BRING YOUR GOOD TIMES AND YOUR LAUGHTER TOO

    Oct 07 2014

    Whether you are celebrating your first wedding anniversary or your fortieth, this is a time to celebrate the good times you've had together. It's a time to look back over the past year and then look forward to what's ahead. Make it a day where you celebrate one another and your marriage. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about celebrating those good times on that annual milestone in your marriage, your wedding anniversary. He Zigs, She Zags: Get Your Communication on ...more

  • 239: IT’S NOT A PROBLEM, PORNOGRAPHY IS AN ADDICTION

    Sep 30 2014

    Pornography is becoming the drug of choice for many individuals. It's easy to conceal, doesn't cost as much as alcohol or drugs, but gives them the same euphoric high that they enjoy. Unfortunately, pornography in marriage is destroying the sexual intimacy that you desire. The sex is not what it used to be, your spouse has become withdrawn, or you may not be getting straight answers from your spouse. These are just a few indications that pornography has permeated your lif...more

  • 238: COMMON COURTESY

    Sep 23 2014

    Common courtesy is something that you know you should extend to your spouse and yet it's not happening. It may be because you allow your spouse's actions to dictate if you will be courteous or not. The thing is that true common courtesy should not be a reaction but instead a heart attitude. This means that you say "please" and "thank you", you call to let your spouse know that you are running late, and even ask what can you can do for your spouse. In this week's show Tony...more

  • 237: PUTTING THE KIDS FIRST

    Sep 16 2014

    Your job as a parent is to have your children for a season in your house. While they are there you must equip them with the tools that they need to leave your house and live on their own. Being your child's savior, rescuing them and providing for all of their needs and wants impacts three generations. These three generations could be impacted for the positive or for the negative. You get to decide. In this week’s show Tony & Alisa talk about the impact of continuously put...more

  • 236: LOVE IS GREATER THAN FEAR

    Sep 09 2014

    Fear or worry can stop you in your tracks when it comes to moving forward in your marriage. Events in the past, words spoken or unspoken, or what may happen leave you feeling helpless. Fortunately for you love is great than fear. The love you have for your spouse can overcome the fear that is holding you back. It's time to push past the fear. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about the impact fear has on your marriage and your intimacy. EPISODE SPONSOR Melt: Ma...more

  • 235: SPEAK UP…VOCALIZE YOUR SATISFACTION

    Sep 02 2014

    You and/or your spouse may struggle with how to be vocal and speak up during sex. There isn't a one-size fits all, but there are a few different ways that you can speak up. Vocalization during sex is one way to encourage your spouse during sex. Both of you share in the enjoyment and excitement. Incorporate any of these and you will transform your sex life as it brings another form of communication to your marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa talk about the differe...more

  • 234: MARRIAGE BONK

    Aug 26 2014

    There will come a time when you will come to a point in your life when you feel depleted, whether it is because of circumstances at home, at work, with family or health. At some point you are going to run out of steam and hit the wall. Your marriage is great when all is running smooth and yet it is what you do in those times when you bonk. You will either push through and let your ego take over, you may freeze up to ask your spouse for help, or when help is offered you'll ac...more

  • 233: ADVICE GIVEN IN LOVE

    Aug 19 2014

    When your spouse gives you advice that is unsolicited you may become defensive toward them. It's times like these that you need to check yourself and understand where they are coming from. Advice that is given in love without complaining or grumbling could very well be one of the most important things you can do. When you do this you show your spouse that you value them for seeing something you may not have seen. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about listening and t...more

  • 232: YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE AND SEX

    Aug 12 2014

    You are uniquely made as there is no one else on this earth that is like you. Even though this is true, you have a personality type that can be learned to better understand yourself and your spouse. The Ennegram with it's nine personality types is a tool that should be used by you so that you can grow in your life and marriage. In this week’s show Tony and Alisa talk about how personality types impact perception when it comes to the high desire spouse and low desire spouse. ...more

  • 231: IS IT MY DAYS OR YOUR DAYS TO INITIATE

    Aug 05 2014

    The Intimacy Lifestyle at it's core is about being able to set specific days that you initiate sex and the days your spouse will initiate sex each week. It's also a fantastic way for the both of you to not put off sex to another time, but to make it a priority in your marriage. By having days where both of you initiate sex it ultimately brings you closer together. There will be times though when both of you or one of you is not tracking. We can totally relate because we h...more

  • 230: VULNERABILITY WHEN TRYING NEW SEXUAL POSITIONS

    Jul 29 2014

    In your marriage the vulnerability you experience sexually with your spouse can be a challenge. Trying any position outside of the missionary position feels uncomfortable. For you it may be that the missionary position is efficient. Your spouse does this, you do that and wham bam it’s all done. You’re on your way and the next thing on your to-do list. Or maybe it’s routine. No need to think outside the box and complicate things. Your go-to position works so why rock the b...more

  • 229: WHEN FACETIME MATTERS

    Jul 22 2014

    There are many ways that you can connect with your spouse. The way that you do this depends on where you are and the time you have scheduled for each other. You may even FaceTime your spouse if you are traveling or away from each other. FaceTime is important in many ways as you get to experience more than just their tone of voice. The same goes for us here as our main way of connecting with you is through emails, phone calls or voice mail. In this week's show Tony & Alisa...more

  • 228: STRESS AND YOUR LIBIDO

    Jul 15 2014

    Low libido due to stress can be frustrating to you and your spouse over time. You want to have a libido that is ready to go and yet the stress you endure has impacted you. This may be a phase or it may be going more prevalent due to work demands, family or other issues that you face. Stress has a direct impact on you libido because there is an increase in hormones such as cortisol and epinephrine (adrenaline). The increase of these in your body can also interfere with th...more

  • 227: BACK AGAINST THE WALL

    Jul 08 2014

    The words you never thought you'd hear in your marriage, "I want a divorce", have been uttered by your spouse. They hit you as if you slammed into a brick wall and at that moment you're back against the wall. Your mind is flooded with all the reasons why this is happening to you right now. As you get your wits together you begin to recall all the times you've been asked to make a change. In this week's show Tony & Alisa share why you need to DO SOMETHING when you're back ...more

  • 226: (WO) MAN IN THE MIRROR

    Jul 01 2014

    You are constantly sending your spouse facial expressions. When things are going well you give a smile, bat those loving eyes, as well as radiate joy. When things aren’t going as well those facial expressions are not positive. From grunts, to the raised eyebrow, the looks of frustration and irritation. You send out these messages expecting that your spouse will make a change. Unfortunately, sending out those messages OVER and OVER and OVER again doesn't have the desired e...more

  • 225: WHEN KIDS TAKE PRIORITY IN YOUR MARRIAGE

    Jun 24 2014

    When your marriage is pushed to the bottom of your priority list you can sense a disconnect with your spouse. Our priorities have been messed up in our marriage as well. Kids are one of the biggest reasons that your marriage has a lack of priority. How do the two of you expect to grow your marriage and your relationship if you don't put yourselves at the top. In this week's show Tony & Alisa talk about what your priorities are when it comes to who should be at the top of ...more

  • 224: IMPROVE YOUR PHYSICAL INTIMACY

    Jun 17 2014

    Summertime is here, the kids are out of school, and learning is the last thing on their mind. Unfortunately many of you have taken the same attitude in your marriage. School has been out for awhile now. You know what you know about your spouse and you don’t need to learn anything more. We can relate this to the high school senior that has stopped studying after receiving their college acceptance letter. No need to work hard now that the prize has been obtained. When it co...more

  • 223: SUMMER DAZE (SEX WHEN THE KIDS ARE HOME)

    Jun 10 2014

    Summer is a time when your sexual intimacy can take a back seat. There is no down time for you and your spouse with the kids home. The thought of having sex during the summer is the last thing you even think about. We’ve been there! The awkward moment when you hear the footsteps in the hallway. A knock on the door at an inopportune time. Or you're having a fantastic love making session and the kids hear you. Oh, sex during the summer has it's own challenges. In this we...more

  • 222: THE CHOICES YOU MAKE EVERY DAY

    Jun 03 2014

    When you participate in activities that are going to impact you, your spouse and your marriage these are not good choices. These choices don't foster trust, nor do these choices bring the two of you together. In fact it’s just the opposite. Knowing what to do so you don't make these choices is half the battle. It's the actions you take daily that allow for growth in you and your marriage. In this week's show Tony and Alisa share how the choices you make can be detrimental for...more

  • 221: IT’S NOT ABOUT THE NUMBER

    May 27 2014

    How many times have you had a conversation with someone about their marriage and heard, “Well, we’ve been married (insert number of years) years", as if that’s all their marriage is about. The longevity of their relationship means so much more instead of the quality of their relationship. We've been there too. When it comes down to it you can be married 6 months or 50 years and yet it's about the quality of that time together that matters. In this week's show Tony & Alisa...more

  • 220: FOREPLAY PLEASE

    May 20 2014

    Foreplay is an opportunity for the two of you to mentally and physically get in the same place before intercourse. It's a time when you are brought into the present with your spouse as you enjoy one another without the distractions of your daily lives. During foreplay the two of you have time to love on each other in anticipation of what is coming up. And yes, both MEN and WOMEN need and desire foreplay. This week Tony & Alisa share why it is important for you to explore wha...more

  • 219: I LOVE YOU, BUT I’M NOT IN LOVE WITH YOU

    May 12 2014

    These nine words, "I Love You, But I'm Not In Love With You", when said in your marriage are a sucker punch to the stomach. They convey that you or your spouse are no longer willing to put forth any effort into the relationship. "In love" is really about the idea of being in love with the ideal spouse. Loving your spouse is love on a whole other level, it’s knowing what they look like when they don’t have any makeup on or when they have had a rough day at work. It’s honor...more

  • 218: IT’S NOT ALL GOOD OR ALL BAD

    May 06 2014

    In your every day life you see the world and all that is around you in shades of grey. On the other hand you look at your marriage and there is only black and white, it's either all good or all bad. Your perception is that if your marriage isn't in one of these extremes then there is something wrong. Well, that place in the middle is where you want to be. This week Tony & Alisa share why it is important to live your marriage in the middle instead of living as if it is all...more

  • 217: I WISH I WOULD HAVE KNOWN

    Apr 29 2014

    When you get engaged and become newlyweds you get lots of advice from family and friends. They want you to start your marriage out on the right foot and yet the advice usually given is the same ole thing. After hearing, "don't sweat the little things", "hold hands all the time" and "be there for one another", for the hundredth time you want more. You're an engaged couple or married now and you know that marriage isn't going to be as easy as this. This week Tony & Alisa sh...more

  • 216: UGHH! INTERRUPTED AGAIN

    Apr 22 2014

    At some point in time you have been interrupted while trying to have sex with your spouse. It’s not always the kids that interrupt you, but maybe a phone call, an alert on the phone or a knock at the front door. When interrupted there is a break in the connection you are experiencing with your spouse. It's the "Ughh! Interrupted Again" moment. What do you need to do to get back to being intimate after you've been interrupted. In this week's show Tony & Alisa share a recen...more

  • 215: SEPARATE BEDS

    Apr 15 2014

    When you leave your marriage bed and begin to sleep in separate beds it can be the beginning to the end to your physical as well as emotional intimacy. Separate beds lead to separate lives and an up hill fight to keep your marriage together. What is it that has happened to you and your spouse that you would sleep outside of your marriage bed? Both of you need to take time and look back at why you even started down this path. This week Tony & Alisa share why it is importan...more

  • 214: STRANGER DANGER

    Apr 08 2014

    If you allow you marriage to be stagnant for any amount of time you become distant from your spouse. This leads to a disconnect between the two of you and ultimately you become strangers. Be aware of the signs of stranger danger. It's a point where you or both of you are no longer able to recognize the person you married. You can reconnect again! This week Tony & Alisa share how you can put protections into your marriage so that you will not have to worry about strange...more

  • 213: SEX IS NOT A COMPLETE BAROMETER OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP

    Apr 01 2014

    When your sex life has simple become a physical act that you and your spouse are doing it's time to evaluate what's going on. The quantity of sex you have each week or month is not a complete barometer of your relationship. Sexual intimacy is only one of the six forms of intimacy that the two of you should focus on to build a strong marriage. These six intimacies are vital to a marriage based on transparency, honesty & trust. This week Tony & Alisa share why you should ma...more

  • 212: I WANT SPONTANEOUS SEX

    Mar 25 2014

    You want spontaneous sex and you want it often and yet do you even know what spontaneous means? Dictionary.com says that spontaneous is: coming or resulting from a natural impulse or tendency; without effort or premeditation; natural and unconstrained; unplanned. How often is this happening in your life? Expecting to have spontaneous sex seems a bit unrealistic as you have many activities in your day-to-day that are planned. What we have come to realize is that you are no...more

  • 211: GET YOUR SEXY BACK

    Mar 18 2014

    Recreational intimacy is being active together. Finding activities you both like to do and do them with each other. Take a walk, hike a mountain, go surf...whatever it is do something with your spouse that will bring the two of you together. When you spend time together you get your sexy back as you see each other excel and have a great time. Fitness doesn't have to be complicated. Get up and move your body. This week Tony & Alisa share how they make fitness and health part of thei...more

  • 210: PRAYING OR PROCRASTINATING

    Mar 11 2014

    You've been praying for healing, peace, forgiveness and change in your marriage for a long time. There are times when you wonder if God hears you or if He even cares about your marriage. It's easy to pray and then procrastinate. You've prayed and yet it is what you do afterwards that can have a profound impact on your life and marriage. This week Tony & Alisa share the what it looks like to pray and procrastinate. You'll also learn why it is important to take action and m...more

  • 209: YOU SAID VS I HEARD

    Mar 04 2014

    Words that you hear and then say back to your spouse can have a serious impact on the issue you are discussing in your marriage. The walls go up, the conversation stops and then the aftermath occurs. Your perception and the filters you have about what your spouse is going to say can lead to ineffective behavior and communication. There are two words that can change the entire conversation. These two words are: I HEARD (fill in the blank). This week Tony & Alisa dive in...more

  • 208: FERTILITY AWARENESS METHOD (NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING)

    Feb 25 2014

    Conceiving a child or not to conceive a child is something many married couples talk about. When it comes to knowing all the ins and outs of ovulation...well that is another story. When the two of you are educated on your (your wife's) menstrual cycle from month-to-month you are better able to understand your sexual intimacy. It's a way for each of you to connect because of the knowledge you now have. This week Tony & Alisa share how they have been using the Fertility Awa...more

  • 207: OUT OF WORK

    Feb 18 2014

    You never plan to be out of work and yet there will probably come a time in your marriage when you or your spouse has lost their job. This can be a stressful time for you as you look for work again. The loss of a job can add financial stress, drive a wedge in your emotional intimacy and impact how you relate sexually with your spouse. It's during this time that you need to get out of the pity party and move. This week Tony & Alisa share how you can stay connected with you...more

  • 206: INITIATING SEX

    Feb 11 2014

    Sexual intimacy is an important part of your marriage. There is a connection only you have with your spouse and it's amazing when you have it. The problem is that you're always initiating sex. After awhile it would be refreshing if your spouse were to pursue you. What would happen in your marriage if this were to happen? This week Tony & Alisa speak frankly about what it means to initiate sex. Their insights in their own marriage will have you learning what you need to do...more

  • 205: WORK, KIDS, LAUNDRY, & DISHES

    Feb 04 2014

    There is so many things going on in your marriage that more often than not the connection you and your spouse have has been placed on the back burner. You can't even remember the last time you two had uninterrupted moments together. It's time to get back to the two of you. It's making a choice right now that your marriage needs to be in the forefront of your lives. Not only so you can talk, but that you can be connected in all forms of intimacy. This week Tony & Alisa sha...more

  • 204: WE WILL FIGHT (FOR OUR MARRIAGE)

    Jan 28 2014

    Every opportunity you have to fight for your marriage is one that you should take. There is so much out in your every day life that is trying to pull you away from each other. It is time for both of you to focus on each other and fight for your love. It may be for your spiritual intimacy, sexual intimacy, or for dates so you can be alone together. In this weeks show Tony & Alisa share that it is important to fight for the romance and passion in your marriage. You don't ne...more

  • 203: CONNECT EVEN WHEN YOU’RE APART

    Jan 21 2014

    There may come a time in your marriage when you and your spouse are miles apart. This may be due to a deployment, work, caring for a family member, a mission trip or many other reasons. It is during these time that you and your spouse need to have a mindset of togetherness. You'll also need to have a few ideas that will keep the two of you connected. This  week Tony & Alisa share how they have stayed connected during times apart. Most recently when Alisa spent 12 days on ...more

  • 202: TEMPTATION

    Jan 14 2014

    Temptation has been around since the beginning of mankind. It happened in the Garden of Eden and temptation may impact you and your marriage at one time or another. Even though temptation is present and will put your marriage in jeopardy there are safeguards that you need to put in place. These safeguards are set for the sole purpose of keeping your attention on what is most important, your spouse. This week Tony & Alisa share how temptation if not communicated with your ...more

  • 201: I’M SORRY

    Jan 07 2014

    It is very easy after a confrontation with your spouse to say something like “Are we good?” and expect the issue to be resolved. In other situations you may not say anything and just go about your business with this unfinished issue hanging around you and your spouse. When you have many of these stacked one upon another there is going to be frustration and irritation in your marriage. In this weeks show Tony & Alisa are going to discuss the importance of saying "I'm sorry" so that y...more

  • SPRECIAL EDITION: HAPPY NEW YEAR

    Dec 31 2013

    It's a fresh start, a clean slate and the beginning of a New Year! As you start a new year give serious consideration to where you and your marriage will be over the course of the next 365 days. What intimacy do you and your spouse want to focus in on for 2014. This week Tony & Alisa share the 6 intimacies and ideas that you can use starting now to have an impact on your heart. Man Up Gods Way Facebook Page Lessons Learned While Pedaling a Cruiser Support ONE Extraordin...more

  • SPECIAL EDITION: MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE FAMILY

    Dec 24 2013

    We know that you are busy with last minute preparations, trimming the tree, wrapping the presents, traveling and setting out the cookies for Santa. So we just wanted to take a few minutes to reflect with you on this season. As you unwrap this holiday season remember that the biggest and best gift that you can give your spouse is the gift of you. Your attention, your intention, and your commitment to the marriage. This week Tony & Alisa share how you can love in spite of life’s chal...more

  • 200: WOOHOO!

    Dec 17 2013

    Reaching a milestone in your marriage, your 5th, 10th, 25th, etc anniversary, is a time of celebration. A time when you get to look back at all the amazing things you have done with your spouse. It's a time to share stories of how your spouse impacted you and your marriage. The two of you are the stars on this day. This week Tony & Alisa are celebrating. Not because the ONE Extraordinary Marriage Show has reached 200 episodes, but the impact the show has had on couples ar...more

  • 199: IT WON’T HAPPEN TO US

    Dec 10 2013

    Your spouse is asking you to get involved in the marriage because there is a problem. Ignoring it will not make it go away. Apathy will not make it go away. Getting involved with someone else will not make it go away. When this is happening you need to take look at all aspects of your marriage. More importantly you need to get involved with your spouse quickly. This week Tony & Alisa unwrap how you can get involved in your marriage so that you change the future of your relat...more

  • 198: WANT TO OR NEED TO

    Dec 03 2013

    Words are interesting and the subtle differences in meaning can often go unnoticed. Except that these words can be played over and over in your head. The words that you choose to use when you have to do something have meaning. These words carry weight not just to you but also for your spouse. This week Tony & Alisa look at two words that can lead to a ho-hum marriage or one that is extraordinary. They share the difference between "Need To" or "Want To" in your marriage and in your ...more

  • 197: AROUND THE WORLD

    Nov 26 2013

    As the years pass in your marriage it is very easy to settle where you are. Between work, kids, church and other activities you aren't living your life out loud. It's time to bust out of your comfort zone so that you can go after that adventure that inside of you. Both of you will experience a new level in your lives and your marriage. This week Tony & Alisa share how they are getting out of their comfort zone in different ways to experience life to the fullest. GoFund...more

  • 196: SEX TOYS

    Nov 19 2013

    Getting creative in your marriage and trying new things can definitely spice things up for the two of you. When sex toys become part of your marriage toolkit you need to keep your motives in check. When you are looking for a way to add something new that you both agree upon, that's OK. If you're looking for a way to replace your spouse because you don’t want to be sexual intimate then there is an issue at hand. This week Tony & Alisa share how they have used sex toys in their marri...more

  • 195: SHOW EMOTION

    Nov 12 2013

    It's a choice to remove the masks and let down the walls in your life. These are holding you back from truly experiencing the joy in your marriage. Your choice to continue living like this is causing your spouse to wonder if you are truly engaged in the marriage. They are frustrated, confused, isolated and/or scared. This week Tony & Alisa share how you can begin to remove your masks and show your emotions to your spouse. When you take off your masks you are loved more no...more

  • 194: TOUGH TO SWALLOW

    Nov 05 2013

    The two of you have probably talked about being sexual intimate via a blow job. It's a topic that is brought up, but have you discussed what it would be like to have your spouse get to the point of ejaculation? Over the last couple of months many emails have come in asking this particular question. This week Tony & Alisa dive into a topic, blow jobs, that many in the marriage arena are not willing to discuss. They share 7 tips that could help you and your spouse enjoy blow j...more

  • 193: DIVORCE IS OFF THE TABLE

    Oct 29 2013

    When you say "I Do", the furthest thing from your mind at that very moment is uttering the word "Divorce". As the months and years pass the "D" word begins to enter your vocabulary. The first time it stings and you can't believe it was even uttered. Slowly and over time it doesn't even mean anything to you or your spouse. It is used flippantly and yet it is undermining how you see your marriage. This week Tony & Alisa share how they have taken the word "Divorce" off th...more

  • 192: GIVE ME A CHANCE

    Oct 22 2013

    If you've been married for any length of time you may have hurt your spouse. This could be through the words you have said, by being silent, pulling away, not spending time with them, and more. Even though this has happened you can rebuild the trust in your marriage. You need to ask your spouse right now, "Give Me A Chance". This week Tony & Alisa share how you can begin to rebuild the trust in your marriage and be given another chance. Email Coaching Special Are you ...more

  • 191: MASTURBATION

    Oct 15 2013

    Masturbation in marriage can have a profound impact on your sexual intimacy. When masturbating in private without your spouse you are diminishing the joy of sex with your spouse. If you are masturbating in your marriage and your spouse does not know you are doing this it’s time to have a state of our marriage conversation. You need to take off the masks and acknowledge what’s going on in your sex life. On the other hand masturbating together can add to your marriage bed. ...more

  • 190: TO TEXT OR NOT TO TEXT

    Oct 08 2013

    You live in a world ruled by your phone, you feel lost when you don’t have it. You send text messages when you don’t want to bother someone and yet you are a slave to those text alerts. Unfortunately, some of you are using your cell phone, specifically texting as a way to have the tough conversations in your marriage. This week Tony & Alisa share why using a text message is not the best way to communicate with your spouse. During this show you'll learn: What's the problem with usin...more

  • 189: ARE YOU DOING TOO MUCH?

    Oct 01 2013

    You do everything for your spouse. The laundry, cooking, cleaning, kids, devotional, gardening, and on and on. You don’t understand why your spouse can’t help out around the house. Why are they not engaging with you? Has your marriage become one where you are treating your spouse more like a child than an adult. It's time to treat them like an adult so they can have a sense of value in your marriage. In this weeks show Tony & Alisa are going to share with you how you c...more

  • 188: MAKE A PROMISE

    Sep 24 2013

    It is critical that you make the decision to honor the promise you made on your wedding day. It is by keeping this promise that you will experience the true meaning of love in your marriage. Take time to consider these three promises that you can make and keep in your marriage. You wedding vow Transparency Variety In this weeks show Tony & Alisa share how you can make a promise, keep it, and most importantly demonstrate it to each other. Cuddle Up Online Audio ...more

  • 187: CHANGE IS GOOD

    Sep 17 2013

    It's time to live the marriage you desire. For change to happen you are going to have to take action. Your marriage has changed over the years. Your priorities are so out of whack that you, your spouse, and your marriage is lost. This week Tony & Alisa share how you can make change happen in your life. Start today. 40 Romantic Ideas You Can Use Today to Spice Up Your Marriage Leave a review on iTunes | Submit a question | Call (858)876-5663

  • 186: DON’T WAIT

    Sep 10 2013

    Fear. It stops you from taking off your masks. You sit there as you look at your spouse knowing you need to share where you are and yet FEAR is holding you back. Expressing yourself has become difficult. The kids, work, electronics, have made it easy to disengage in your marriage. This week Tony & Alisa share how you can begin to reengage each other so that you don't wait until your marriage is at the brink of ending. 3 Ways to Overcome Your Fear The Question Behind th...more

  • 185: LISTEN TO ME

    Sep 03 2013

    One area that is often mishandled in marriage is the art of listening. It's the ability to keep your mouth shut and your ears open as your spouse shares what is happening in their life. During this time you get to learn about your spouse. Better yet, you now have the opportunity to show them that you heard what was spoken. This is not a time to get defensive or fight your position. Relax and open yourself up for a time of growth. You will see the transformation in your...more

  • 184: BE A HALL OF FAMER

    Aug 27 2013

    Remember back to those days when you played a sport, competed in a competition, or were launching a new business, product or service. You knew where you wanted to get and yet you didn't have the blueprint to help you get there. Well in your marriage there can come a point where you know that there is more, but you don't know how to work with your spouse to reach that point. Marriage coaching may be the answer for you. This week Tony & Alisa share why it's important to con...more

  • 183: THE IMPACT OF PORNOGRAPHY ON YOUR WIFE

    Aug 20 2013

    You can believe what you are seeing. You're heart sinks as the shame and anger inside you begins to burst out. Right there in front of you on your husband's phone, tablet, and/or computer there are pictures of naked women. The shock has left you wondering why he's looking at it. You're heartbroken as the foundation of your marriage, trust, has been compromised. You're not alone. This week Tony & Alisa share how pornography impacted their marriage from the perspective of t...more

  • 182: KEEPING SECRETS ABOUT THE KIDS

    Aug 13 2013

    There is marriage Before Kids (BK) and then there is marriage After Kids (AK). You know what we are talking about as these can be two extremes. It starts from little sleep, to low sex drive, on to school, sports, and many other good and tough issues as they grow up. One area where this can be most prevalent is in your emotional and intellectual intimacy with your spouse. Kids can be a wedge between the two of you. In this weeks show Tony & Alisa share how you can stay ...more

  • 181: WARRIOR OR WALKOVER

    Aug 06 2013

    You've been living long enough in a lack luster marriage. Today is the day that you are going to put on your armor and be a warrior for your marriage. To often you and your spouse get complacent in your marriage. Your expectations are that they will take the initiative and yet it's you who needs to stand tall. This week Tony & Alisa share what you can do today to be the warrior you need to be so that your marriage can thrive and grow. Coaching with Alisa Thrive90 Fi...more

  • 180: EWWW, THAT’S GROSS

    Jul 30 2013

    These words are uttered across the globe by kids who see their parents kiss, hug, or show some form of affection. You want to hear them say this. It's your responsibility in your marriage to show affection around your kids and their friends. Your ability to show them a healthy marriage is vital for you and for them. This week Tony & Alisa share the times when they have heard these words spoken by their kids. They also share with you what is appropriate affection and what ...more

  • 179: WARNING SIGNS

    Jul 23 2013

    You feel like something’s not quite right in your marriage right now. As you think about what is going on you wonder if you are making too much out of nothing. Your intuition or gut is telling you something. There are warning signs that something is not the way it should be in your marriage. These warning signs by themselves may not lead to separation and yet a few of them together can mean that things are in jeopardy in your relationship. All in all when your warning signs go off ...more

  • 178: SEXPECTATIONS

    Jul 16 2013

    You are all excited to take some time away, maybe a long weekend or a week long vacation, with your spouse. You know the two of you are going to have sex and yet have you discussed how many times you will have sex while away. Your sexpectations and those of your spouse may be drastically different for the trip. Taking time before you leave to clarify what each of your sexpectations are will allow for both of you to enjoy your time off. This week Tony & Alisa talk about ho...more

  • 177: BICYCLE BUILT FOR TWO (OR NOT)

    Jul 09 2013

    Having your own activities and hobbies separately from your spouse is a healthy way for you to grow individually. At the same time it's also a way for you and your spouse to grow your marriage. Do something that makes your heart sing, brings joy, happiness, and a passion to your life. This joy then is brought into the marriage where you are able to discuss new interests. This week Tony & Alisa share what interests they have together and what interests they have separately. Both hav...more

  • 176: HOLD MY HAND

    Jul 02 2013

    So often you find yourself in making advances on your spouse with the sole purpose to have sex. You're touching your spouse for one thing only and it's not appreciated. What transpires is either you getting accepted after numerous advances or you get rejected. Either way you feel as if your spouse really isn't interested in having sex with you. What if you focused on building a connection without the expectation of having sex? Building this connection for the sake of bein...more

  • 175: CONTRACT OF RECONCILIATION

    Jun 25 2013

    You've had enough of your spouse's antics. The word "Separation" or "Divorce" have been said in hurtful ways and now you are really considering one or both. Before you step out of your home you both need a plan to be working on yourself as well as you marriage. If not, the likelihood of both of you working together diminishes. In this weeks podcast Tony and Alisa talk about what to do when you feel like you need to separate to gain clarity in your marriage with the goal o...more

  • 174: COVENANT OR CONTRACT

    Jun 18 2013

    When you first got marriage you  may have thought of you marriage as a covenant and/or as a contract. To this day in your mind your marriage is either one of these or both and yet do you know which each of them mean in your marriage? If you view your marriage as a contract it is self-focused. In a covenant you are other-focused. This week Tony and Alisa discuss the major differences between the two to help you better understand which marriage you are in. Either a covenant...more

  • 173: CRANK UP YOUR SEX DRIVE

    Jun 11 2013

    You don't have the sex drive you once had within your marriage. It's waned over the years and really you're a bit frustrated that you don't have "IT" like you once did. Your physical well being may be an area that is having a big impact on your sex drive and libido. Being physically fit, eating the proper nutrition, getting the vitamins and minerals you need, as well as having the motivation is paramount to your sexual intimacy. This week Tony and Alisa go over where they...more

  • 172: THOSE WEIRD NOISES

    Jun 04 2013

    You know those noises that come from your spouse. Either in the bathroom or right there in the kitchen they come out and boy is it getting a bit much. Never did you think about the burps, farts, throw up, diarrhea, or those weird noises in bed when you first got together. Now after years of marriage they are beginning to wan on you. This week Tony and Alisa share those noises in their marriage and how they have been able to understand why they occur and when. You don't wa...more

  • 171: SEX HURTS

    May 28 2013

    Ouch! My body hurts. Physical ailments can cause strife in your marriage when you are unable to be sexually intimate with your spouse. You are not doing this to hurt your spouse and yet there is frustration for both of you. Is the pain manageable? Can you make changes to your medication? Would non-vaginal sex satisfy both of you? This week Tony and Alisa share ideas that you may not have thought of so you can be physically intimate with your spouse. Take one action ...more

  • 170: WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY MARRIAGE…I AM

    May 21 2013

    There are times in your marriage when everything seems to not be going as you planned. It's easy to point the finger at your spouse for all that is happening and yet the issues may be with YOU. Yes, you may be what's wrong with your marriage. Most times it is easier to lay the blame on your spouse. Why do you have to go through all the work to change yourself when your spouse can do it. This week Tony & Alisa share times in their marriage when one of them was the problem ...more